About eleven o’clock on that night — the night of the day on which Kate Vavasor’s arm had been broken — there came a gentle knock at Kate’s bedroom door. There was nothing surprising in this, as of all the household Kate only was in bed. Her aunt was sitting at this time by her bedside, and the doctor, who had been summoned from Penrith and who had set her broken arm, was still in the house, talking over the accident with John Vavasor in the dining-room, before he proceeded back on his journey home.
“She will do very well,” said the doctor. “It’s only a simple fracture. I’ll see her the day after tomorrow.”
“Is it not odd that such an accident should come from a fall whilst walking?” asked Mr Vavasor.
The doctor shrugged his shoulders. “One never can say how anything may occur,” said he. “I know a young woman who broke the os femoris by just kicking her cat — at least, she said she did.”
“Indeed! I suppose you didn’t take any trouble to inquire?”
“Not much. My business was with the injury, not with the way she got it. Somebody did make inquiry, but she stuck to her story and nothing came of it. Goodnight, Mr Vavasor. Don’t trouble her with questions till she has had some hours’ sleep, at any rate.” Then the doctor went, and John Vavasor was left alone, standing with his back to the dining-room fire.
There had been so much trouble and confusion in the house since Kate had fainted, almost immediately upon her reaching home, that Mr Vavasor had not yet had time to make up his mind as to the nature of the accident which had occurred. Mrs Greenow had at once ascertained that the bone was broken, and the doctor had been sent for. Luckily he had been found at home, and had reached the Hall a little before ten o’clock. In the meantime, as soon as Kate recovered her senses, she volunteered her account of what had occurred.
Her brother had quarrelled with her about the will, she said, and had left her abruptly on the mountain. She had fallen, she went on to say, as she turned from him, and had at once found that she had hurt herself. But she had been too angry with him to let him know it; and, indeed, she had not known the extent herself till he had passed out of her sight. This was her story; and there was nothing in it that was false by the letter, though there was much that was false in the spirit. It was certainly true that George had not known that she was injured. It was true that she had asked him for no help. It was true, in one sense, that she had fallen, and it was true that she had not herself known how severe had been the injury done to her till he had gone beyond the reach of her voice. But she repressed all mention of his violence, and when she was pressed as to the nature of the quarrel, she declined to speak further on that matter. Neither her uncle nor her aunt believed her. That was a matter of course, and she knew that they did not believe her. George’s absence, their recent experience of his moods, and the violence by which her arm must have been broken, made them certain that Kate had more to tell if she chose to tell it. But in her present condition they could not question her. Mrs Greenow did ask as to the probability of her nephew’s return.
“I can only tell you,” said Kate, “that he went away across the Fell in the direction of Bampton. Perhaps he has gone on to Penrith. He was very angry with us all; and as the house is not his own, he has probably resolved that he will not stay another night under the roof. But, who can say? He is not in his senses when he is angered.”
John Vavasor, as he stood alone after the doctor’s departure, endeavoured to ascertain the truth by thinking of it. “I am sure,” he said to himself, “that the doctor suspects that there has been violence. I know it from his tone, and I can see it in his eye. But how to prove it? and would there be good in proving it? Poor girl! Will it not be better for her to let it pass as though we believed her story?” He made up his mind that it would be better. Why should he take upon himself the terrible task of calling this insane relation to account for an act which he could not prove? The will itself, without that trouble, would give him trouble enough. Then he began to long that he was back at his club, and to think that the signing-room in Chancery Lane was not so bad. And so he went up to his bed, calling at Kate’s door to ask after the patient.
In the meantime there had come a messenger to Mrs Greenow, who had stationed herself with her niece. One of the girls of the house brought up a scrap of paper to the door, saying that a boy had brought it over with a cart from Shap, and that it was intended for Miss Vavasor, and it was she who knocked at the sick-room door. The note was open and was not addressed; indeed, the words were written on a scrap of paper that was crumpled up rather than folded, and were as follows: “Send me my clothes by the bearer. I shall not return to the house.” Mrs Greenow took it in to Kate, and then went away to see her nephew’s things duly put into his portmanteau. This was sent away in the cart, and Mr Vavasor, as he went upstairs, was told what had been done.
Neither on that night nor on the following day did Mrs Greenow ask any further questions; but on the morning after that, when the doctor had left them with a good account of the broken limb, her curiosity would brook no further delay. And, indeed, indignation as well as curiosity urged her on. In disposition she was less easy, and, perhaps, less selfish, than her brother. If it were the case that that man had ill-treated his sister, she would have sacrificed much to bring him to punishment. “Kate,” she said, when the doctor was gone, “I expect that you will tell me the whole truth as to what occurred between you and your brother when you had this accident.”
“I have told you the truth.”
“But not the whole truth.”
“All the truth I mean to tell, aunt. He has quarrelled with me, as I think, most unnecessarily; but you don’t suppose that I am going to give an exact account of the quarrel? We were both wrong, probably, and so let there be an end of it.”
“Was he violent to you when he quarrelled with you?”
“When he is angry he is always violent in his language.”
“But, did he strike you?”
“Dear aunt, don’t be angry with me if I say that I won’t be cross-examined. I would rather answer no more questions about it. I know that questioning can do no good.”
Mrs Greenow knew her niece well enough to be aware that nothing more would be told her, but she was quite sure now that Kate had not broken her arm by a simple fall. She was certain that the injury had come from positive violence. Had it not been so, Kate would not have contented herself with refusing to answer the last question that had been asked, but would also have repelled the charge made against her brother with indignation.
“You must have it your own way,” said Mrs Greenow; “but let me just tell you this, that your brother George had better keep out of my way.”
“It is probable that he will,” said Kate. “Especially if you remain here to nurse me.”
Kate’s conduct in answering all the questions made to her was not difficult, but she found that there was much difficulty in planning her own future behaviour towards her own brother. Must she abandon him altogether from henceforth; divide herself from him, as it were; have perfectly separate interests, and interests that were indeed hostile? and must she see him ruined and overwhelmed by want of money, while she had been made a rich woman by her grandfather’s will? It will be remembered that her life had hitherto been devoted to him; that all her schemes and plans had had his success as their object; that she had taught herself to consider it to be her duty to sacrifice everything to his welfare. It is very sad to abandon the only object of a life! It is very hard to tear out from one’s heart and fling away from it the only love that one has cherished! What was she to say to Alice about all this — to Alice whom she had cheated of a husband worthy of her, that she might allure her into the arms of one so utterly unworthy? Luckily for Kate, her accident was of such a nature that any writing to Alice was now out of the question.
But a blow! What woman can bear a blow from a man, and afterwards return to him with love? A wife may have to bear it and to return. And she may return with that sort of love which is a thing of custom. The man is the father of her children, and earns the bread which they eat and which she eats. Habit and the ways of the world require that she should be careful in his interests, and that she should live with him in what amity is possible to them. But as for love — all that we mean by love when we speak of it and write of it — a blow given by the defender to the defenceless crushes it all! A woman may forgive deceit, treachery, desertion — even the preference given to a rival. She may forgive them and forget them; but I do not think that a woman can forget a blow. And as for forgiveness — it is not the blow that she cannot forgive, but the meanness of spirit that made it possible.
Kate, as she thought of it, told herself that everything in life was over for her. She had long feared her brother’s nature — had feared that he was hard and heartless; but still there has been some hope with her fear. Success, if he could be made to achieve it, would soften him, and then all might be right. But now all was wrong, and she knew that it was so. When he had compelled her to write to Alice for money, her faith in him had almost succumbed. That had been very mean, and the meanness had shocked her. But now he had asked her to perjure herself that he might have his own way, and had threatened to murder her, and had raised his hand against her because she had refused to obey him. And he had accused her of treachery to himself — had accused her of premeditated deceit in obtaining this property for herself!
“But he does not believe it,” said Kate to herself. “He said that because he thought it would vex me; but I know he does not think it.” Kate had watched her brother longing for money all his life — had thoroughly understood the intensity of his wish for it — the agony of his desire. But so far removed was she from any such longing on her own account, that she could not believe that her brother would in his heart accuse her of it. How often had she offered to give him, on the instant, every shilling that she had in the world! At this moment she resolved, in her mind, that she never wished to see him more; but even now, had it been practicable, she would have made over to him, without any drawback, all her interest in the Vavasor estate.
But any such making over was impossible. John Vavasor remained in Westmoreland for a week, and during that time many discussions were, of course, held about the property. Mr Round came down from London, and met Mr Gogram at Penrith. As to the validity of the will Mr Round said that there was no shadow of a doubt. So an agent was appointed for receiving the rents, and it was agreed that the old Hall should be let in six months from that date. In the meantime Kate was to remain there till her arm should become strong, and she could make her plans for the future. Aunt Greenow promised to remain at the Hall for the present, and offered, indeed, indefinite services for the future, as though she were quite forgetful of Captain Bellfield. Of Mr Cheesacre she was not forgetful, for she still continued to speak of that gentleman to Kate, as though he were Kate’s suitor. But she did not now press upon her nice the acceptance of Mr Cheesacre’s hand as an absolute duty. Kate was mistress of a considerable fortune, and though such a marriage might be comfortable, it was no longer necessary. Mrs Greenow called him poor Cheesacre, pointing out how easily he might be managed, and how indubitable were his possessions; but she no longer spoke of Kate’s chances in the marriage market as desperate, even though she should decline the Cheesacre alliance.
“A young woman, with six hundred a year, my dear, may do pretty nearly what she pleases,” said aunt Greenow. “It’s better than having ten years’ grace given you.”
“And will last longer, certainly,” said Kate.
Kate’s desire was that Alice should come down to her for a while in Westmoreland, before the six months were over, and this desire she mentioned to her uncle. He promised to carry the message up to Alice, but could not be got to say more than that upon the subject. Then Mr Vavasor went away, leaving the aunt and niece together at the Hall.
“What on earth shall we do if that wild beast shows himself suddenly among us women?” asked Mrs Greenow of her brother.
The brother could only say that, “he hoped the wild beast would keep his distance.”
And the wild beast did keep his distance, at any rate as long as Mrs Greenow remained at the Hall. We will now go back to the wild beast, and tell how he walked across the mountains, in the rain, to Bampton, a little village at the foot of Hawes Water. It will be remembered that after he had struck his sister, he turned away from her, and walked with quick steps down the mountainside, never turning back to look at her. He had found himself to be without any power of persuasion over her, as regarded her evidence to be given, if the will were questioned. The more he threatened her the steadier she had been in asserting her belief in her grandfather’s capacity. She had looked into his eye and defied him, and he had felt himself to be worsted. What was he to do? In truth, there was nothing for him to do. He had told her that he would murder her; and in the state of mind to which his fury had driven him, murder had suggested itself to him as a resource to which he might apply himself. But what could he gain by murdering her — or, at any rate, by murdering her there, out on the mountainside? Nothing but a hanging! There would he no gratification even to his revenge. If, indeed, he had murdered that old man, who was now, unfortunately, gone beyond the reach of murder — if he could have poisoned the old man’s cup before that last will had been made — there might have been something in such a deed! But he had merely thought of it, “letting I dare not wait upon I would” — as he now told himself, with much self-reproach. Nothing was to be got by killing his sister. So he restrained himself in his passion, and walked away from her, solitary, down the mountain.
The rain soon came on, and found him exposed on the hillside. He thought little about it, but buttoned his coat, as I have said before, and strode on. It was a storm of rain, so that he was forced to hold his head to one side, as it hit him from the north. But with his hand to his hat, and his head bent against the wind, he went on till he had reached the valley at the foot, and found that the track by which he had been led thither had become a road. He had never known the mountains round the Hall as Kate had known them, and was not aware whither he was going. On one thing only had he made up his mind since he had left his sister, and that was that he would not return to the house. He knew that he could do nothing there to serve his purpose; his threats would be vain impotence; he had no longer any friend in the house. He could hardly tell himself what line of conduct he would pursue, but he thought that he would hurry back to London, and grasp at whatever money he could get from Alice. He was still, at this moment, a Member of Parliament; and as the rain drenched him through and through, he endeavoured to get consolation from the remembrance of that fact in his favour.
As he got near the village he overtook a shepherd boy coming down from the hills, and learned his whereabouts from him, “Baampton,” said the boy, with an accent that was almost Scotch, when he was asked the name of the place. When Vavasor further asked whether a gig were kept there, the boy simply stared at him, not knowing a gig by that name. At last, however, he was made to understand the nature of his companion’s want, and expressed his belief that “John Applethwaite, up at the Craigs yon, had got a mickle cart.” But the Craigs was a farmhouse, which now came in view about a mile off, up across the valley; and Vavasor, hoping that he might still find a speedier conveyance than John Applethwaite’s mickle cart, went on to the public house in the village. But, in truth, neither there, nor yet from John Applethwaite, to whom at last an application was sent, could he get any vehicle; and between six and seven he started off again, through the rain, to make his weary way on foot to Shap. The distance was about five miles, and the little byways, lying between walls, were sticky, and almost glutinous with light-coloured, chalky mud. Before he started he took a glass of hot rum and water, but the effect of that soon passed away from him, and then he became colder and weaker than he had been before.
Wearily and wretchedly he plodded on. A man may be very weary in such a walk as that, and yet be by no means wretched. Tired, hungry, cold, wet, and nearly penniless, I have sat me down and slept among those mountain tracks — have slept because nature refused to allow longer wakefulness. But my heart has been as light as my purse, and there has been something in the air of the hills that made me buoyant and happy in the midst of my weariness. But George Vavasor was wretched as well as weary, and every step that he took, plodding through the mud, was a new misfortune to him. What are five miles of a walk to a young man, even though the rain be filling and the ways be dirty? What, though they may come after some other ten that he has already traversed on his feet? His sister Kate would have thought nothing of the distance. But George stopped on his way from time to time, leaning on the loose walls, and cursing the misfortune that had brought him to such a pass. He cursed his grandfather, his uncle, his sister, his cousin, and himself. He cursed the place in which his forefathers had lived, and he cursed the whole county. He cursed the rain, and the wind, and his town-made boots, which would not keep out the wet slush. He cursed the light as it faded, and the darkness as it came. Over and over again he cursed the will that had robbed him, and the attorney that had made it. He cursed the mother that had borne him and the father that had left him poor. He thought of Scruby, and cursed him, thinking how that money would be again required of him by that stern agent. He cursed the House of Commons, which had cost him so much, and the greedy electors who would not send him there without his paying for it. He cursed John Grey, as he thought of those two thousand pounds, with double curses. He cursed this world, and all worlds beyond; and thus, cursing everything, he made his way at last up to the inn at Shap.
It was nearly nine when he got there. He had wasted over an hour at Bampton in his endeavour to get John Applethwaite’s cart to carry him on, and he had been two hours on his walk from Bampton to Shap — two hours amidst his cursing. He ordered supper and brandy and water, and, as we know, sent off a Mercury for his clothes. But the Mercuries of Westmoreland do not move on quick wings, and it was past midnight before he got his possessions. During all this time he had, by no means, ceased from cursing, but continued it over his broiled ham and while he swallowed his brandy and water. He swore aloud, so that the red-armed servant at the inn could not but hear him, that those thieves at the Hall intended to rob him of his clothes — that they would not send him his property. He could not restrain himself, though he knew that every word he uttered would injure his cause, as regarded the property in Westmoreland, if ever he could make a cause. He knew that he had been mad to strike his sister, and cursed himself for his madness. Yet he could not restrain himself. He told himself that the battle for him was over, and he thought of poison for himself. He thought of poison, and a pistol — of the pistols he had ever loaded at home, each with six shots, good for a life apiece. He thought of an express train rushing along at its full career, and of the instant annihilation which it would produce. But if that was to be the end of him, he would not go alone. No, indeed! why should he go alone, leaving those pistols ready loaded in his desk? Among them they had brought him to ruin and to death. Was he a man to pardon his enemies when it was within his power to take them with him, down, down, down —? What were the last words upon his impious lips, as with bloodshot eyes, half drunk, and driven by the Fury, he took himself off to the bed prepared for him, cursing aloud the poor red-haired girl as he went, I may not utter here.
Gentle reader, do you remember Lady Monk’s party, and how it ended — how it ended, at least as regards those special guests with whom we are concerned? Mr Palliser went away early, Mrs Marsham followed him to his house in Park Lane, caught him at home, and told her tale. He returned to his wife, found her sitting with Burgo in the dining-room, under the Argus eyes of the constant Bott, and bore her away home. Burgo disappeared utterly from the scene, and Mr Bott, complaining inwardly that virtue was too frequently allowed to be its own reward, comforted himself with champagne, and then walked off to his lodgings. Lady Monk, when Mr Palliser made his way into her room upstairs, seeking his wife’s scarf — which little incident, also, the reader may perhaps remember — saw that the game was up, and thought with regret of the loss of her two hundred pounds. Such was the ending of Lady Monk’s party.
Lady Glencora, on her journey home in the carriage with her husband, had openly suggested that Mrs Marsham had gone to Park Lane to tell of her doings with Burgo, and had declared her resolution never again to see either that lady or Mr Bott in her own house. This she said with more of defiance in her tone than Mr Palliser had ever hitherto heard. He was by nature less ready than her, and knowing his own deficiency in that respect, abstained from all answer on the subject. Indeed, during that drive home very few further words were spoken between them. “I will breakfast with you tomorrow,” he said to her, as she prepared to go upstairs. “I have work still to do tonight, and I will not disturb you by coming to your room.”
“You won’t want me to be very early?” said his wife.
“No,” said he, with more of anger in his voice than he had yet shown. “What hour will suit you? I must say something of what has occurred tonight before I leave you tomorrow.”
“I don’t know what you can have got to say about tonight, but I’ll be down by half past eleven, if that will do?” Mr Palliser said that he would make it do, and then they parted.
Lady Glencora had played her part very well before her husband. She had declined to be frightened by him; had been the first to mention Burgo’s name, and had done so with no tremor in her voice, and had boldly declared her irreconcilable enmity to the male and female duennas who had dared to take her in charge. While she was in the carriage with her husband she felt some triumph in her own strength; and as she wished him goodnight on the staircase, and slowly walked up to her room, without having once lowered her eyes before his, something of this consciousness of triumph still supported her. And even while her maid remained with her she held herself up, as it were, inwardly, telling herself that she would not yield — that she would not be cowed either by her husband or by his spies. But when she was left alone all her triumph departed from her.
She bade her maid go while she was still sitting in her dressing-gown; and when the girl was gone she got close over the fire, sitting with her slippers on the fender, with her elbows on her knees, and her face resting on her hands. In this position she remained for an hour, with her eyes fixed on the altering shapes of the hot coals. During this hour her spirit was by no means defiant, and her thoughts of herself anything but triumphant. Mr Bott and Mrs Marsham she had forgotten altogether. After all, they were but buzzing flies, who annoyed her by their presence. Should she choose to leave her husband, they could not prevent her leaving him. It was of her husband and of Burgo that she was thinking — weighing them one against the other, and connecting her own existence with theirs, not as expecting joy or the comfort of love from either of them, but with an assured conviction that on either side there must be misery for her. But of that shame before all the world which must be hers for ever, should she break her vows and consent to live with a man who was not her husband, she thought hardly at all. That which in the estimation of Alice was everything, to her, at this moment, was almost nothing. For herself, she had been sacrificed; and — as she told herself with bitter denunciations against herself — had been sacrificed through her own weakness. But that was done. Whatever way she might go, she was lost. They had married her to a man who cared nothing for a wife, nothing for any woman — so at least she declared to herself — but who had wanted a wife that he might have an heir. Had it been given to her to have a child, she thought that she might have been happy — sufficiently happy in sharing her husband’s joy in that respect. But everything had gone against her. There was nothing in her home to give her comfort. “He looks at me every time he sees me as the cause of his misfortune,” she said to herself. Of her husband’s rank, of the future possession of his title and his estates, she thought much. But of her own wealth she thought nothing. It did not occur to her that she had given him enough in that respect to make his marriage with her a comfort to him. She took it for granted that that marriage was now one distasteful to him, as it was to herself, and that he would eventually be the gainer if she should so conduct herself that her marriage might be dissolved.
As to Burgo, I doubt whether she deceived herself much as to his character. She knew well enough that he was a man infinitely less worthy than her husband. She knew that he was a spendthrift, idle, given to bad courses — that he drank, that he gambled, that he lived the life of the loosest man about the town. She knew also that whatever chance she might have had to redeem him, had she married him honestly before all the world, there could be no such chance if she went to him as his mistress, abandoning her husband and all her duties, and making herself vile in the eyes of all women. Burgo Fitzgerald would not be influenced for good by such a woman as she would then be. She knew much of the world and its ways, and told herself no lies about this. But, as I have said before, she did not count herself for much. What though she were ruined? What though Burgo were false, mean, and untrustworthy? She loved him, and he was the only man she ever had loved! Lower and lower she crouched before the fire; and then, when the coals were no longer red, and the shapes altered themselves no more, she crept into bed. As to what she should say to her husband on the following morning — she had not yet begun to think of that.
Exactly at half past eleven she entered the little breakfast parlour which looked out over the park. It was the prettiest room in the house, and now, at this springtide, when the town trees were putting out their earliest greens, and were fresh and bright almost as country trees, it might be hard to find a prettier chamber. Mr Palliser was there already, sitting with the morning paper in his hand. He rose when she entered, and, coming up to her, just touched her with his lips. She put her cheek up to him, and then took her place at the breakfast table.
“Have you any headache this morning?” he asked.
“Oh, no,” she said. Then he took his tea and his toast, spoke some word to her about the fineness of the weather, told her some scraps of news, and soon returned to the absorbing interest of a speech made by the leader of the Opposition in the House of Lords. The speech was very interesting to Mr Palliser, because in it the noble lord alluded to a break-up in the present Cabinet, as to which the rumours were, he said. so rife through the country as to have destroyed all that feeling of security in the existing Government which the country so much valued and desired. Mr Palliser had as yet heard no official tidings of such a rupture; but if such rupture were to take place, it must be in his favour. He felt himself at this moment to be full of politics — to be near the object of his ambition, to have affairs upon his hands which required all his attention. Was it absolutely incumbent on him to refer again to the incidents of last night? The doing so would be odious to him. The remembrance of the task now immediately before him destroyed all his political satisfaction. He did not believe that his wife was in any serious danger. Might it not yet be possible for him to escape from the annoyance, and to wish his mind clean of all suspicion? He was not jealous; he was indeed incapable of jealousy. He knew what it would be to be dishonoured, and he knew that under certain circumstances the world would expect him to exert himself in a certain way. But the thing that he had now to do was a great trouble to him. He would rather have to address the House of Commons with ten columns of figures than utter a word of remonstrance to his wife. But she had defied him — defied him by saying that she would see his friends no more; and it was the remembrance of this, as he sat behind his newspaper, that made him ultimately feel that he could not pass in silence over what had been done.
Nevertheless, he went on reading, or pretending to read, as long as the continuance of the breakfast made it certain that his wife would remain with him. Every now and then he said some word to her of what he was reading, endeavouring to use the tone of voice that was customary to him in his domestic teachings of politics. But through it all there was a certain hesitation — there were the sure signs of an attempt being made, of which he was himself conscious, and which she understood with the most perfect accuracy. He was deferring the evil moment, and vainly endeavouring to make himself believe that he was comfortably employed the while. She had no newspaper, and made no endeavour to deceive herself. She, therefore, was the first to begin the conversation.
“Plantagenet,” she said, “you told me last night, as I was going to bed, that you had something to say about Lady Monk’s party.”
He put down the newspaper slowly, and turned towards her. “Yes, my dear. After what happened, I believe that I must say something.”
“If you think anything, pray say it,” said Glencora.
“It is not always easy for a man to show what he thinks by what he says,” he replied. “My fear is that you should suppose me to think more than I do. And it was for that reason that I determined to sleep on it before I spoke to you.”
“If anybody is angry with me I’d much rather they should have it out with me while their anger is hot. I hate cold anger.”
“But I am not angry.”
“That’s what husbands always say when they’re going to scold.”
“But I am not going to scold. I am only going to advise you.”
“I’d sooner be scolded. Advice is to anger just what cold anger is to hot.”
“But my dear Glencora, surely if I find it necessary to speak — ”
“I don’t want to stop you, Plantagenet. Pray, go on. Only it will be so nice to have it over.”
He was now more than ever averse to the task before him. Husbands, when they give their wives a talking, should do it out of hand, uttering their words hard, sharp, and quick — and should then go. There are some works that won’t bear a preface, and this work of marital fault-finding is one of them. Mr Palliser was already beginning to find out the truth of this. “Glencora,” he said, “I wish you to be serious with me.”
“I am very serious,” she replied, as she settled herself in her chair with an air of mockery, while her eyes and mouth were bright and eloquent with a spirit which her husband did not love to see. Poor girl! There was seriousness enough in store for her before she would be able to leave the room.
“You ought to be serious. Do you know why Mrs Marsham came here from Lady Monk’s last might?”
“Of course I do. She came to tell you that I was waltzing with Burgo Fitzgerald. You night as well ask me whether I knew why Mr Bott was standing at all the doors, glaring at me.”
“I don’t know anything about Mr Bott.”
“I know something about him though,” she said, again moving herself in her chair.
“I am speaking now of Mrs Marsham.”
“You should speak of them both together as they hunt in couples.”
“Glencora, will you listen to me, or will you not? If you say that you will not, I shall know what to do.”
“I don’t think you would, Plantagenet.” And she nodded her little head at him, as she spoke. “I’m sure I don’t know what you would do. But I will listen to you. Only, as I said before, it will be very nice when it’s over.”
“Mrs Marsham came here, not simply to tell me that you were waltzing with Mr Fitzgerald — and I wish that when you mention his name you would call him Mr Fitzgerald.”
“So I do.”
“You generally prefix his Christian name, which it would be much better that you should omit.”
“I will try,” she said, very gently; “but it’s hard to drop an old habit. Before you married me you knew that I had learned to call him Burgo.”
“Let me go on,” said Mr Palliser.
“On, certainly.”
“It was not simply to tell me that you were waltzing that Mrs Marsham came here.”
“And it was not simply to see me waltzing that Mr Bott stood in the doorways, for he followed me about, and came down after me to the supper-room.”
“Glencora, will you oblige me by not speaking of Mr Bott?”
“I wish you would oblige me by not speaking of Mrs Marsham.” Mr Palliser rose quickly from his chair with a gesture of anger, stood upright for half a minute, and then sat down again. “I beg your pardon, Plantagenet, she said I think I know what you want, and I’ll hold my tongue till you bid me speak.”
“Mrs Marsham came here because she saw that every one in the room was regarding you with wonder.” Lady Glencora twisted herself about in her clair, but she said nothing. “She saw that you were not only dancing with Mr Fitzgerald, but that you were dancing with him — what shall I say?”
“Upon my word I can’t tell you.”
“Recklessly.”
“Oh! recklessly, was I? What was I reckless of?”
“Reckless of what people might say; reckless of what I might feel about it; reckless of your own position.”
“Am I to speak now?”
“Perhaps you had better let me go on. I think she was right to come to me.”
“That’s of course. What’s the good of having spies, if they don’t run and tell as soon as they see anything, especially anything — reckless?”
“Glencora, you are determined to make me angry. I am angry now — very angry. I have employed no spies. When rumours have reached me, not from spies, as you choose to call them, but through your dearest friends and mine — ”
“What do you mean by rumours from my dearest friends?”
“Never mind. Let me go on.”
“No; not when you say my dear friends have spread rumours about me. Tell me who they are. I have no dear friends. Do you mean Alice Vavasor?”
“It does not signify. But when I was warned that you had better not go to any house in which you could meet that man, I would not listen to it. I said that you were my wife, and that as such I could trust you anywhere, everywhere, with any person. Others might distrust you, but I would not do so. When I wished you to go to Monkshade, were there to be any spies there? When I left you last night at Lady Monk’s, do you believe in your heart that I trusted to Mrs Marsham’s eyes rather than to your own truth? Do you think that I have lived in fear of Mr Fitzgerald?”
“No, Plantagenet; I do not think so.”
“Do you believe that I have commissioned Mr Bott to watch your conduct? Answer me, Glencora.”
She paused a moment, thinking what actually was her true belief on that subject. “He does watch me, certainly,” she said.
“That does not answer my question. Do you believe that I have commissioned him to do so?”
“No; I do not.”
“Then it is ignoble in you to talk to me of spies. I have employed no spies. If it were ever to come to that, that I thought spies necessary, it would be all over with me.”
There was something of feeling in his voice as he said this — something that almost approached to passion which touched his wife’s heart. Whether or not spies would be of any avail, she knew that she had in truth done that of which he had declared that he had never suspected her. She had listened to words of love from her former lover. She had received, and now carried about with her a letter from this man, in which he asked her to elope with him. She had by no means resolved that she would not do this thing. She had been false to her husband; and as her husband spoke of his confidence in her, her own spirit rebelled against the deceit which she herself was practising.
“I know that I have never made you happy,” she said. “I know that I never can make you happy.”
He looked at her, struck by her altered tone, and saw that her whole manner and demeanour were changed. “I do not understand what you mean,” he said. “I have never complained. You have not made me unhappy.” He was one of those men to whom this was enough. If his wife caused him no uneasiness, what more was he to expect from her? No doubt she might have done much more for him. She might have given him an heir. But he was a just man, and knew that the blank he had drawn was his misfortune, and not her fault.
But now her heart was loosed and she spoke out, at first slowly, but after a while with all the quickness of strong passion. “No, Plantagenet; I shall never make you happy. You have never loved me, nor I you. We have never loved each other for a single moment. I have been wrong to talk to you about spies; I was wrong to go to Lady Monk’s; I have been wrong in everything that I have done; but never so wrong as when I let them persuade me to be your wife!”
“Glencora!”
“Let me speak now, Plantagenet. It is better that I should tell you everything; and I will. I will tell you everything — everything! I do love Burgo Fitzgerald. I do! I do! I do! How can I help loving him? Have I not loved him from the first — before I had seen you? Did you not know that it was so? I do love Burgo Fitzgerald, and when I went to Lady Monk’s last night, I had almost made up my mind that I must tell him so, and that I must go away with him and hide myself. But when he came to speak to me — ”
“He has asked you to go with him, then?” said the husband, in whose bosom the poison was beginning to take effect, thereby showing that he was neither above nor below humanity. Glencora was immediately reminded that though she might, if she pleased, tell her own secrets, she ought not, in accordance with her ideas of honour, tell those of her lover. “What need is there of asking, do you think, when people have loved each other as we have done?”
“You wanted to go with him, then?”
“Would it not have been the best for you? Plantagenet, I do not love you — not as women love their husbands when they do love them. But, before God, my first wish is to free you from the misfortune that I have brought on you.” As she made this attestation she started up from her chair, and coming close to him, took him by the coat. He was startled, and stepped back a pace, but did not speak; and then stood looking at her as she went on.
“What matters it whether I drown myself, or throw myself away by going with such a one as him, so that you might marry again, and have a child? I’d die — I’d die willingly. How I wish I could die! Plantagenet, I would kill myself if I dared.”
He was a tall man and she was short of stature, so that he stood over her and looked upon her, and now she was looking up into his face with all her eyes. “I would,” she said. “I would — I would! What is there left for me that I should wish to live?”
Softly, slowly, very gradually, as though he were afraid of what he was doing, he put his arm round her waist, “You are wrong in one thing,” he said. “I do love you.”
She shook her head, touching his breast with her hair as she did so.
“I do love you,” he repeated. “If you mean that I am not apt at telling you so, it is true, I know. My mind is running on other things.”
“Yes,” she said; “your mind is running on other things.”
“But I do love you. If you cannot love me, it is a great misfortune to us both. But we need not therefore be disgraced. As for that other thing of wich you spoke — of our having, as yet, no child” — and in saying this he pressed her somewhat closer with his arm — “you allow yourself to think too much of it — much more of it than I do. I have made no complaints on that head, even within my own breast.”
“I know what your thoughts are, Plantagenet.”
“Believe me that you wrong my thoughts. Of course I have been anxious, and have, perhaps, shown my anxiety by the struggle I have made to hide it. I have never told you what is false, Glencora.”
“No; you are not false!”
“I would rather have you for my wife, childless — if you will try to love me — than any other woman, though another might give me an heir. Will you try to love me?” She was silent. At this moment, after the confession that she had made, she could not bring herself to say that she would even try. Had she said so, she would have seemed to have accepted his forgiveness too easily.
“I think, dear,” he said, still holding her by her waist, “that we had better leave England for a while. I will give up politics for this season. Should you like to go to Switzerland for the summer, or perhaps to some of the German baths, and then on to Italy when the weather is cold enough?” Still she was silent. “Perhaps your friend, Miss Vavasor, would go with us?”
He was killing her by his goodness. She could not speak to him yet; but now, as he mentioned Alice’s name, she gently put up her hand and rested it on the back of his.
At that moment there came a knock at the door — a sharp knock, which was quickly repeated.
“Come in,” said Mr Palliser, dropping his arm from his wife’s waist, and standing away from her a few yards.
It was the butler who had knocked — showing that the knock was of more importance than it would have been had it been struck by the knuckles of the footman in livery. “If you please, sir, the Duke of St Bungay is here.”
“The Duke of St Bungay!” said Mr Palliser, becoming rather red as he heard the announcement.
“Yes, sir, his grace is in the library. He bade me tell you that he particularly wanted to see you; so I told him that you were with my lady.”
“Quite right; tell his grace that I will be with him in two minutes.” Then the butler retired, and Mr Palliser was again alone with his wife.
“I must go now, my dear,” he said; “and perhaps I shall not see you again till the evening.”
“Don’t let me put you out in any way,” she answered.
“Oh no — you won’t put me out. You will be dressing, I suppose, about nine.”
“I did not mean as to that,” she answered. “You must not think more of Italy. He has come to tell you that you are wanted in the Cabinet.”
Again he turned very red. “It may be so,” he answered, “but though I am wanted, I need not go. But I must not keep the Duke waiting. Goodbye.” And he turned to the door.
She followed him and took hold of him as he went, so that he was forced to turn to her once again. She managed to get hold of both his hands, and pressed them closely, looking up into his face with her eyes laden with tears. He smiled at her gently, returned the pressure of the hands, and then left her — without kissing her. It was not that he was minded not to kiss her. He would have kissed her willingly enough had he thought that the occasion required it. “He says that he loves me,” said Lady Glencora to herself, “but he does not know what love means.”
But she was quite aware that he had behaved to her with genuine, true nobility. As soon as she was alone and certain of her solitude, she took out that letter from her pocket, and tearing it into very small fragments, without reading it, threw the pieces on the fire. As she did so, her mind seemed to be fixed, at any rate, to one thing — that she would think no more of Burgo Fitzgerald as her future master. I think, however, that she had arrived at so much certainty as this, at that moment in which she had been parting with Burgo Fitzgerald, in Lady Monk’s dining-room. She had had courage enough — or shall we rather say sin enough — to think of going with him — to tell herself that she would do so; to put herself in the way of doing it; nay, she had had enough of both to enable her to tell her husband that she had resolved that it would be good for her to do so. But she was neither bold enough nor wicked enough to do the thing. As she had said of her own idea of destroying herself — she did not dare to take the plunge. Therefore, knowing now that it was so, she tore up the letter that she had carried so long, and burnt it in the fire.
She had in truth told him everything, believing that in doing so she was delivering her own death-warrant as regarded her future position in his house. She had done this, not hoping thereby for any escape; not with any purpose as regarded herself, but simply because deceit had been grievous to her, and had become unendurable as soon as his words and manner had in them any feeling of kindness. But her confession had no sooner been made than her fault had been forgiven. She had told him that she did not love him. She had told him, even, that she had thought of leaving him. She had justified by her own words any treatment of his, however harsh, which he might choose to practise. But the result had been — the immediate result — that he had been more tender to her than she had ever remembered him to be before. She knew that he had conquered her. However cold and heartless his home might be to her, it must be her home now. There could be no further thought of leaving him. She had gone out into the tilt-yard and had tilted with him, and he had been the victor.
Mr Palliser himself had not time for much thought before he found himself closeted with the Duke; but as he crossed the hall and went up the stairs, a thought or two did pass quickly across his mind. She had confessed to him, and he had forgiven her. He did not feel quite sure that he had been right, but he did feel quite sure that the thing had been done. He recognised it for a fact that, as regarded the past, no more was to be said. There were to be no reproaches, and there must be some tacit abandoning of Mrs Marsham’s close attendance. As to Mr Bott — he had begun to hate Mr Bott, and had felt cruelly ungrateful, when that gentleman endeavoured to whisper a word into his ear as he passed through the doorway into Lady Monk’s dining-room. And he had offered to go abroad — to go abroad and leave his politics, and his ambition, and his coming honours. He had persisted in his offer, even after his wife had suggested to him that the Duke of St Bungay was now in the house with the object of offering him that very thing for which he had so longed! As he thought of this his heart became heavy within him. Such chances — so he told himself — do not come twice in a man’s way. When returning from a twelvemonth’s residence abroad he would be nobody in politics. He would have lost everything for which he had been working all his life. But he was a man of his word, and as he opened the library door he was resolute — he thought that he could be resolute in adhering to his promise.
“Duke,” he said, “I’m afraid I have kept you waiting.” And the two political allies shook each other by the hand.
The Duke was in a glow of delight. There had been no waiting. He was only too glad to find his friend at home. He had been prepared to wait, even if Mr Palliser had been out. “And I suppose you guess why I’m come?” said the Duke.
“I would rather be told than have to guess,” said Mr Palliser, smiling for a moment. But the smile quickly passed off his face as he remembered his pledge to his wife.
“He has resigned at last. What was said in the Lords last night made it necessary that he should do so, or that Lord Brock should declare himself able to support him through thick and thin. Of course, I can tell you everything now. He must have gone, or I must have done so. You know that I don’t like him in the Cabinet. I admire his character and his genius, but I think him the most dangerous man in England as a statesman. He has high principles — the very highest; but they are so high as to be out of sight to ordinary eyes. They are too exalted to be of any use for everyday purposes. He is honest as the sun, I’m sure; but it’s just like the sun’s honesty — of a kind which we men below can’t quite understand or appreciate. He has no instinct in politics, but reaches his conclusions by philosophical deduction. Now, in politics, I would a deal sooner trust to instinct than to calculation. I think he may probably know how England ought to be governed three centuries hence better than any man living, but of the proper way to govern it now, I think he knows less. Brock half likes him and half fears him. He likes the support of his eloquence, and he likes the power of the man; but he fears his restless activity, and thoroughly dislikes his philosophy. At any rate, he has left us, and I am here to ask you to take his place.”
The Duke, as he concluded his speech, was quite contented, and almost jovial. He was thoroughly satisfied with the new political arrangement which he was proposing. He regarded Mr Palliser as a steady, practical man of business, luckily young, and therefore with a deal of work in him, belonging to the race from which English ministers ought, in his opinion, to be taken, and as being, in some respects, his own pupil. He had been the first to declare aloud that Plantagenet Palliser was the coming Chancellor of the Exchequer; and it had been long known, though no such declaration had been made aloud, that the Duke did not sit comfortably in the same Cabinet with the gentleman who had now resigned. Everything had now gone as the Duke wished; and he was prepared to celebrate some little ovation with his young friend before he left the house in Park Lane.
“And who goes out with him?” asked Mr Palliser, putting off the evil moment of his own decision; but before the Duke could answer him, he had reminded himself that under his present circumstances he had no right to ask such a question. His own decision could not rest upon that point. “But it does not matter,” he said; “I am afraid I must decline the offer you bring me.”
“Decline it!” said the Duke, who could not have been more surprised had his friend talked of declining heaven.
“I fear I must.” The Duke had now risen from his chair, and was standing, with both his hands upon the table. All his contentment, all his joviality, had vanished. His fine round face had become almost ludicrously long; his eyes and mouth were struggling to convey reproach, and the reproach was almost drowned in vexation. Ever since Parliament had met he had been whispering Mr Palliser’s name into the Prime Minister’s ear, and now — But he could not, and would not, believe it. “Nonsense, Palliser,” he said. “You must have got some false notion into your head. There can be no possible reason why you should not join us. Finespun himself will support us, at any rate for a time.” Mr Finespun was the gentleman whose retirement from the ministry the Duke of St Bungay had now announced.
“It is nothing of that kind,” said Mr Palliser, who perhaps felt himself quite equal to the duties proposed to him, even though Mr Finespun should not support him. “It is nothing of that kind — it is no fear of that sort that hinders me.”
“Then, for mercy’s sake, what is it? My dear Palliser, I looked upon you as being as sure in this matter as myself; and I had a right to do so. You certainly intended to join us a month ago, if the opportunity offered. You certainly did.”
“It is true, Duke. I must ask you to listen to me now, and I must tell you what I would not willingly tell to any man.” As Mr Palliser said this a look of agony came over his face. There are men who can talk easily of all their most inmost matters, but he was not such a man. It went sorely against the grain with him to speak of the sorrow of his home, even to such a friend as the Duke; but it was essentially necessary to him that he should justify himself.
“Upon my word,” said the Duke, “I can’t understand that there should be any reason strong enough to make you throw your party over.”
“I have promised to take my wife abroad.”
“Is that it?” said the Duke, looking at him with surprise, but at the same time with something of returning joviality in his face. “Nobody thinks of going abroad at this time of the year. Of course, you can get away for a time when Parliament breaks up.”
“But I have promised to go at once.”
“Then, considering your position, you have made a promise which it behoves you to break. I am sure Lady Glencora will see it in that light.”
“You do not quite understand me, and I am afraid I must trouble you to listen to matters which, under other circumstances, it would be impertinent in me to obtrude upon you.” A certain stiffness of demeanour, and measured propriety of voice, much at variance with his former manner, came upon him as he said this.
“Of course, Palliser, I don’t want to interfere for a moment.”
“If you will allow me, Duke. My wife has told me that, this morning, which makes me feel that absence from England is requisite for her present comfort. I was with her when you came, and had just promised her that she should go.”
“But, Palliser, think of it. If this were a small matter, I would not press you; but a man in your position has public duties. He owes his services to his country. He has no right to go back, if it be possible that he should so do.”
“When a man has given his word, it cannot be right that he should go back from that.”
“Of course not. But a man may be absolved from a promise. Lady Glencora — ”
“My wife would, of course, absolve me. It is not that. Her happiness demands it, and it is partly my fault that it is so. I cannot explain to you more fully why it is that I must give up the great object for which I have striven with all my strength.”
“Oh, no!” said the Duke. “If you are sure that it is imperative — ”
“It is imperative.”
“I could give you twenty-four hours, you know.” Mr Palliser did not answer at once, and the Duke thought that he saw some sign of hesitation. “I suppose it would not be possible that I should speak to Lady Glencora?”
“It could be of no avail, Duke. She would only declare, at the first word, that she would remain in London; but it would not be the less my duty on that account to take her abroad.”
“Well; I can’t say. Of course, I can’t say. Such an opportunity may not come twice in a man’s life. And at your age too! You are throwing away from you the finest political position that the world can offer to the ambition of any man. No one at your time of life has had such a chance within my memory. That a man under thirty should be thought fit to be Chancellor of the Exchequer, and should refuse it — because he wants to take his wife abroad! Palliser, if she were dying, you should remain under such an emergency as this. She might go, but you should remain.”
Mr Palliser remained silent for a moment or two in his chair; he then rose and walked towards the window, as he spoke. “There are things worse than death,” he said, when his back was turned. His voice was very low, and there was a tear in his eye as he spoke them; the words were indeed whispered, but the Duke heard them, and felt that he could not press him any more on the subject of his wife.
“And must this be final?” said the Duke.
“I think it must. But your visit here has come so quickly on my resolution to go abroad — which, in truth, was only made ten minutes before your name was brought to me — that I believe I ought to ask for a portion of those twenty-four hours which you have offered me. A small portion will be enough. Will you see me, if I come to you this evening, say at eight? If the House is up in the Lords I will go to you in St James’s Square.”
“We shall be sitting after eight, I think.”
“Then I will see you there. And, Duke, I must ask you to think of me in this matter as a friend should think, and not as though we were bound together only by party feeling.”
“I will — I will.”
“I have told you what I shall never whisper to any one else.”
“I think you know that you are safe with me.”
“I am sure of it. And, Duke, I can tell you that the sacrifice to me will be almost more than I can bear. This thing that you have offered me today is the only thing that I have ever coveted. I have thought of it and worked for it, have hoped and despaired, have for moments been vain enough to think that it was within my strength, and have been wretched for weeks together because I have told myself that it was utterly beyond me.”
“As to that, neither Brock nor I, nor any of us, have any doubt. Finespun himself says that you are the man.”
“I am much obliged to them. But I say all this simply that you may understand how imperative is the duty which, as I think, requires me to refuse the offer.”
“But you haven’t refused as yet,” said the Duke. “I shall wait at the House for you, whether they are sitting or not. And endeavour to join us. Do the best you can. I will say nothing as to that duty of which you speak; but if it can be made compatible with your public service, pray — pray let it be done. Remember how much such a one as you owes to his country.” Then the Duke went, and Mr Palliser was alone.
He had not been alone before since the revelation which had been made to him by his wife, and the words she had spoken were still sounding in his ears. “I do love Burgo Fitzgerald — I do! I do! I do!” They were not pleasant words for a young husband to hear. Men there are, no doubt, whose nature would make them more miserable under the infliction than it had made Plantagenet Palliser. He was calm, without strong passion, not prone to give to words a stronger significance than they should bear — and he was essentially unsuspicious. Never for a moment had he thought, even while those words were hissing in his ears, that his wife had betrayed his honour. Nevertheless, there was that at his heart, as he remembered those words, which made him feel that the world was almost too heavy for him. For the first quarter of an hour after the Duke’s departure he thought more of his wife and of Burgo Fitzgerald than he did of Lord Brock and Mr Finespun. But of this he was aware — that he had forgiven his wife; that he had put his arm round her and embraced her after the hearing of her confession — and that she, mutely, with her eyes, had promised him that she would do her best for him. Then something of an idea of love came across his heart, and he acknowledged to himself that he had married without loving or without requiring love. Much of all this had been his own fault. Indeed, had not the whole of it come from his own wrongdoing? He acknowledged that it was so. But now — now he loved her. He felt that he could not bear to part with her, even if there were no question of public scandal, or of disgrace. He had been torn inwardly by that assertion that she loved another man. She had got at his heart-strings at last. There are men who may love their wives, though they never can have been in love before their marriage.
When the Duke had been gone about an hour, and when, under ordinary circumstances, it would have been his time to go down to the House, he took his hat and walked into the Park. He made his way across Hyde Park, and into Kensington Gardens, and there he remained for an hour, walking up and down beneath the elms. The quidnuncs of the town, who chanced to see him, and who had heard something of the political movements of the day, thought, no doubt, that he was meditating his future ministerial career. But he had not been there long before he had resolved that no ministerial career was at present open to him. “It has been my own fault,” he said, as he returned to his house, “and with God’s help I will mend it, if it be possible.”
But he was a slow man, and he did not go off instantly to the Duke. He had given himself to eight o’clock, and he took the full time. He could not go down to the House of Commons because men would make inquiries of him which he would find it difficult to answer. So he dined at home, alone. He had told his wife that he would see her at nine, and before that hour he would not go to her. He sat alone till it was time for him to get into his brougham, and thought it all over. That seat in the Cabinet and Chancellorship of the Exchequer, which he had so infinitely desired, were already done with. There was no doubt about that. It might have been better for him not to have married; but now that he was married, and that things had brought him untowardly to this pass, he knew that his wife’s safety was his first duty. “We will go through Switzerland,” he said to himself, “to Baden, and then we will get on to Florence and to Rome. She has seen nothing of all these things yet, and the new life will make a change in her. She shall have her own friend with her.” Then he went down to the House of Lords, and saw the Duke.
“Well, Palliser,” said the Duke, when he had listened to him,“of course I cannot argue it with you any more. I can only say that I am very sorry — more sorry than perhaps you will believe. Indeed, it half breaks my heart.” The Duke’s voice was very sad, and it might almost have been thought that he was going to shed a tear. In truth he disliked Mr Finespun with the strongest political feeling of which he was capable, and had attached himself to Mr Palliser almost as strongly. It was a thousand pities! How hard had he not worked to bring about this arrangement, which was now to be upset because a woman had been foolish! “I never above half liked her,” said the Duke to himself, thinking perhaps a little of the Duchess’s complaints of her. “I must go to Brock at once,” he said aloud, “and tell him. God knows what we must do now. Goodbye! goodbye! No; I’m not angry. There shall be no quarrel. But I am very sorry.” In this way the two politicians parted. We may as well follow this political movement to its end. The Duke saw Lord Brock that night, and then those two ministers sent for another minister — another noble Lord, a man of great experience in Cabinets. These three discussed the matter together, and on the following day Lord Brock got up in the House, and made a strong speech in defence of his colleague, Mr Finespun. To the end of the Session, at any rate, Mr Finespun kept his position, and held the seals of the Exchequer while all the quidnuncs of the nation, shaking their heads, spoke of the wonderful power of Mr Finespun, and declared that Lord Brock did not dare to face the Opposition without him.
In the meantime Mr Palliser had returned to his wife, and told her of his resolution with reference to their tour abroad. “We may as well make up our minds to start at once,” said he. “At any rate, there is nothing on my side to hinder us.”
Some ten or twelve days after George Vavasor’s return to London from Westmoreland he appeared at Mr Scruby’s offices with four small slips of paper in his hand. Mr Scruby, as usual, was pressing for money. The third election was coming on, and money was already being spent very freely among the men of the River Bank. So, at least, Mr Scruby declared. Mr Grimes, of The Handsome Man, had shown signs of returning allegiance. But Mr Grimes could not afford to be loyal without money. He had his little family to protect. Mr Scruby, too, had his little family, and was not ashamed to use it on this occasion. “I’m a family man, Mr Vavasor, and therefore I never run any risks. I never go a yard further than I can see my way back.” This he had said in answer to a proposition that he should take George’s note of hand for the expenses of the next election, payable in three months’ time. “It is so very hard to realize,” said George, “immediately upon a death, when all the property left is real property.” “Very hard indeed,” said Mr Scruby, who had heard with accuracy all the particulars of the old Squire’s will. Vavasor understood the lawyer, cursed him inwardly, and suggested to himself that some day he might murder Mr Scruby as well as John Grey — and perhaps also a few more of his enemies. Two days after the interview in which his own note of hand had been refused, he again called in Great Marlborough Street. Upon this occasion he tendered to Mr Scruby for his approval the four slips of paper which have been mentioned. Mr Scruby regarded them with attention, looking first at one side horizontally, and then at the other side perpendicularly. But before we learn the judgment pronounced by Mr Scruby as to these four slips of paper, we must go back to their earlier history. As they were still in their infancy, we shall not have to go back far.
One morning, at about eleven o’clock, the parlour-maid came up to Alice, as she sat alone in the drawing-room in Queen Anne Street, and told her there was a “gentleman” in the hall waiting to be seen by her. We all know the tone in which servants announce a gentleman when they know that the gentleman is not a gentleman.
“A gentleman wanting to see me! What sort of a gentleman?”
“Well, miss, I don’t think he’s just of our sort; but he’s decent to look at.”
Alice Vavasor had no desire to deny herself to any person but one. She was well aware that the gentleman in the hall could not be her cousin George, and therefore she did not refuse to see him.
“Let him come up,” she said. “But I think, Jane, you ought to ask him his name.” Jane did ask him his name, and came back immediately, announcing Mr Levy.
This occurred immediately after the return of Mr John Vavasor from Westmoreland. He had reached home late on the preceding evening, and at the moment of Mr Levy’s call was in his dressing-room.
Alice got up to receive her visitor, and at once understood the tone of her maid’s voice. Mr Levy was certainly not a gentleman of the sort to which she had been most accustomed. He was a little dark man, with sharp eyes, set very near to each other in his head, with a beaked nose, thick at the bridge, and a black moustache, but no other beard. Alice did not at all like the look of Mr Levy, but she stood up to receive him, made him a little bow, and asked him to sit down,
“Is papa dressed yet?” Alice asked the servant.
“Well, miss, I don’t think he is — not to say dressed.”
Alice had thought it might be as well that Mr Levy should know that there was a gentleman in the house with her.
“I’ve called about a little bit of business, miss,” said Mr Levy, when they were alone. “Nothing as you need disturb yourself about. You’ll find it all square, I think.” Then he took a case out of his breast pocket, and produced a note, which he handed to her. Alice took the note, and saw immediately that it was addressed to her by her cousin George. “Yes, Mr George Vavasor,” said Mr Levy. “I dare say you never saw me before, miss?”
“No, sir; I think not,” said Alice.
“I am your cousin’s clerk.”
“Oh, you’re Mr Vavasor’s clerk. I’ll read his letter, if you please, sir.”
“If you please, miss.”
George Vavasor’s letter to his cousin was as follows:
DEAR ALICE.
After what passed between us when I last saw you I thought that on my return from Westmoreland I should learn that you had paid in at my bankers’ the money that I require. But I find that this is not so; and of course I excuse you, because women so seldom know when or how to do that which business demands of them. You have, no doubt, heard the injustice which my grandfather has done me, and will probably feel as indignant as I do. I only mention this now, because the nature of his will makes it more than ever incumbent on you that you should be true to your pledge to me.
Till there shall be some ground for a better understanding between us — and this I do not doubt will come — I think it wiser not to call, myself, at Queen Anne Street. I therefore send my confidential clerk with four bills, each of five hundred pounds, drawn at fourteen days’ date, across which I will get you to write your name. Mr Levy will show you the way in which this should be done. Your name must come under the word ‘accepted’, and just above the name of Messrs Drummonds, where the money must be lying ready, at any rate, not later than Monday fortnight. Indeed, the money must be there some time on the Saturday. They know you so well at Drummonds’ that you will not object to call on the Saturday afternoon, and ask if it is all right.
I have certainly been inconvenienced by not finding the money as I expected on my return to town. If these bills are not properly provided for, the result will be very disastrous to me. I feel, however, sure that this will be done, both for your own sake and for mine.
Affectionately yours, George Vavasor.
The unparalleled impudence of this letter had the effect which the writer had intended. It made Alice think immediately of her own remissness — if she had been remiss — rather than of the enormity of his claim upon her. The decision with which he asked for her money, without any pretence at an excuse on his part, did for the time induce her to believe that she had no alternative but to give it to him, and that she had been wrong in delaying to give it. She had told him that he should have it, and she ought to have been as good as her word. She should not have forced upon him the necessity of demanding it.
But the idea of signing four bills was terrible to her, and she felt sure that she ought not to put her name to orders for so large an amount and then entrust them to such a man as Mr Levy. Her father was in the house, and she might have asked him. The thought that she would do so of course occurred to her. But then it occurred to her also that were she to speak to her father as to this advancing of money to her cousin — to this giving of money, for she now well understood that it would be a gift — were she to consult her father in any way about it, he would hinder her, not only from signing the bills for Mr Levy, but, as far as he could do so, from keeping the promise made to her cousin. She was resolved that George should have the money, and she knew that she could give it to him in spite of her father. But her father might probably be able to delay the gift, and thus rob it of its chief value. If she were to sign the bills, the money must be made to be forthcoming. So much she understood.
Mr Levy had taken out the four bills from the same case, and had placed them on the table before him. “Mr Vavasor has explained, I believe, miss, what it is you have to do?” he said.
“Yes, sir; my cousin has explained.”
“And there is nothing else to trouble you with, I believe. If you will just write your name across them here, I need not detain you by staying any longer.” Mr Levy was very anxious to make his visit as short as possible, since he had heard that Mr John Vavasor was in the house.
But Alice hesitated. Two thousand pounds is a very serious sum of money. She had heard much of sharpers, and thought that she ought to be cautious. What if this man, of whom she had never before heard, should steal the bills after she had signed them? She looked again at her cousin’s letter, chiefly with the object of gaining time.
“It’s all right, miss,” said Mr Levy.
“Could you not leave them with me, sir?” said Alice.
“Well; not very well, miss. No doubt Mr Vavasor has explained it all; but the fact is, he must have them this afternoon. He has got a heavy sum to put down on the nail about this here election, and if it ain’t down today, them on whom he has to depend will be all abroad.”
“But, sir, the money will not be payable today. If I understand it, they are not cheques.”
“No, miss, no; they are not cheques. But your name, miss, at fourteen days, is the same as ready money; just the same.”
She paused, and while she paused, he reached a pen for her from the writing-table, and then she signed the four bills as he held them before her. She was quick enough at doing this when she had once commenced the work. Her object, then, was that the man should be gone from the house before her father could meet him.
These were the four bits of paper which George Vavasor tendered to Mr Scruby’s notice on the occasion which we have now in hand. In doing so, he made use of them after the manner of a grand capitalist, who knows that he may assume certain airs as he allows the odours of the sweetness of his wealth to drop from him.
“You insisted on ready money, with your d — suspicions,” said he; “and there it is. You’re not afraid of fourteen days, I dare say.”
“Fourteen days is neither here nor there,” said Mr Scruby. “We can let our payments stand over as long as that, without doing any harm. I’ll send one of my men down to Grimes, and tell him I can’t see him, till — let me see,” and he looked at one of the bills, “till the 15th.”
But this was not exactly what George Vavasor wanted. He was desirous that the bills should be immediately turned into money, so that the necessity of forcing payments from Alice, should due provision for the bills not be made, might fall into other hands than his.
“We can wait till the 15th,” said Scruby, as he handed the bits of paper back to his customer.
“You will want a thousand, you say?” said George.
“A thousand to begin with. Certainly not less.”
“Then you had better keep two of them.”
“Well — no! I don’t see the use of that. You had better collect them through your own banker, and let me have a cheque on the 15th or 16th.”
“How cursed suspicious you are, Scruby.”
“No, I ain’t. I’m not a bit suspicious. I don’t deal in such articles; that’s all!”
“What doubt can there be about such bills as those? Everybody knows that my cousin has a considerable fortune, altogether at her own disposal.”
“The truth is, Mr Vavasor, that bills with ladies’ names on them — ladies who are no way connected with business — ain’t just the paper that people like.”
“Nothing on earth can be surer.”
“You take them into the City for discount, and see if the bankers don’t tell you the same. They may be done, of course, upon your name. I say nothing about that.”
“I can explain to you the nature of the family arrangement, but I can’t do that to a stranger. However, I don’t mind.”
“Of course not. The time is so short that it does not signify. Have them collected through your own bankers, and then, if it don’t suit you to call, send me a cheque for a thousand pounds when the time is up.” Then Mr Scruby turned to some papers on his right hand, as though the interview had been long enough. Vavasor looked at him angrily, opening his wound at him and cursing him inwardly. Mr Scruby went on with his paper, by no means regarding either the wound or the unspoken curses. Thereupon Vavasor got up and went away without any word of farewell.
As he walked along Great Marlborough Street, and through those unalluring streets which surround the Soho district, and so on to the Strand and his own lodgings, he still continued to think of some wide scheme of revenge — of some scheme in which Mr Scruby might be included. There had appeared something latterly in Mr Scruby’s manner to him, something of mingled impatience and familiarity, which made him feel that he had fallen in the attorney’s estimation. It was not that the lawyer thought him to be less honourable, or less clever, than he had before thought him; but that the man was like a rat, and knew a falling house by the instinct that was in him. So George Vavasor cursed Mr Scruby, and calculated some method of murdering him without detection.
The reader is not to suppose that the Member for the Chelsea Districts had, in truth, resolved to gratify his revenge by murder — by murdering any of those persons whom he hated so vigorously. He did not, himself, think it probable that he would become a murderer. But he received some secret satisfaction in allowing his mind to dwell upon the subject, and in making those calculations. He reflected that it would not do to take off Scruby and John Grey at the same time, as it would be known that he was connected with both of them; unless, indeed, he was to take off a third person at the same time — a third person, as to the expediency of ending whose career he made his calculations quite as often as he did in regard to any of those persons whom he cursed so often. It need hardly be explained to the reader that this third person was the sitting Member for the Chelsea Districts.
As he was himself in want of instant ready money Mr Scruby’s proposition that he should leave the four bills at his own bankers’, to be collected when they came to maturity, did not suit him. He doubted much, also, whether at the end of the fourteen days the money would be forthcoming. Alice would be driven to tell her father, in order that the money might be procured, and John Vavasor would probably succeed in putting impediments in the way of the payment. He must take the bills into the City, and do the best there that he could with them. He was too late for this today, and therefore he went to his lodgings, and then down to the House. In the House he sat all the night with his hat over his eyes, making those little calculations of which I have spoken.
“You have heard the news; haven’t you?” said Mr Bott to him, whispering in his ear.
“News; no. I haven’t heard any news.”
“Finespun has resigned, and Palliser is at this moment with the Duke of St Bungay in the Lords’ library.”
“They may both be at the bottom of the Lords’ fishpond, for what I care,” said Vavasor.
“That’s nonsense, you know,” said Bott. “Still, you know Palliser is Chancellor of the Exchequer at this moment. What a lucky fellow you are to have such a chance come to you directly you get in. As soon as he takes his seat down there, of course we shall go up behind him.”
“We shall have another election in a month’s time,” said George.
“I’m safe enough,” said Bott. “It never hurts a man at elections to be closely connected with the Government.”
George Vavasor was in the City by times the next morning, but he found that the City did not look with favourable eyes on his four bills. The City took them up, first horizontally, and then, with a twist of its hand, perpendicularly, and looked at them with distrustful eyes. The City repeated the name, Alice Vavasor, as though it were not esteemed a good name on Change. The City suggested that as the time was so short, the holder of the bills would be wise to hold them till he could collect the amount. It was very clear that the City suspected something wrong in the transaction. The City, by one of its mouths, asserted plainly that ladies’ bills never meant business. George Vavasor cursed the City, and made his calculation about murdering it. Might not a river of strychnine be turned on round the Exchange about luncheon time? Three of the bills he left at last with his own bankers for collection, and retained the fourth in his breast pocket, intending on the morrow to descend with it into those lower depths of the money market which he had not as yet visited. Again, on the next day, he went to work and succeeded to some extent. Among those lower depths he found a capitalist who was willing to advance him two hundred pounds, keeping that fourth bill in his possession as security. The capitalist was to have forty pounds for the transaction, and George cursed him as he took his cheque, George Vavasor knew quite enough of the commercial world to enable him to understand that a man must be in a very bad condition when he consents to pay forty pounds for the use of two hundred for fourteen days. He cursed the City. He cursed the House of Commons. He cursed his cousin Alice and his sister Kate. He cursed the memory of his grandfather. And he cursed himself.
Mr Levy had hardly left the house in Queen Anne Street, before Alice had told her father what she had done. “The money must be forthcoming,” said Alice. To this her father made no immediate reply, but turning himself in his chair away from her with a sudden start, sat looking at the fire and shaking his head. “The money must be made to be forthcoming,” said Alice. “Papa, will you see that it is done?” This was very hard upon poor John Vavasor, and so he felt it to be. “Papa, if you will not promise, I must go to Mr Round about it myself, and must find out a broker to sell out for me. You would not wish that my name should be dishonoured.”
“You will be ruined,” said he, “and for such a rascal as that!”
“Never mind whether he is a rascal or not, papa. You must acknowledge that he has been treated harshly by his grandfather.”
“I think that will was the wisest thing my father ever did. Had he left the estate to George, there wouldn’t have been an acre of it left in the family in six months’ time.”
“But the life interest, papa!”
“He would have raised all he could upon that, and it would have done him no good.”
“At any rate, papa, he must have this two thousand pounds. You must promise me that.”
“And then he will want more.”
“No; I do not think he will ask for more. At any rate, I do not think that I am bound to give him all that I have.”
“I should think not. I should like to know how you can be bound to give him anything?”
“Because I promised it. I have signed the bills now, and it must be done.” Still Mr Vavasor made no promise. “Papa, if you will not say that you will do it, I must go down to Mr Round at once.”
“I don’t know that I can do it. I don’t know that Mr Round can do it. Your money is chiefly on mortgage.” Then there was a pause for a moment in the conversation. “Upon my word, I never heard of such a thing in my life,” said Mr Vavasor; “I never did. Four thousand pounds given away to such a man as that, in three months! Four thousand pounds! And you say you do not intend to marry him.”
“Certainly not; all that is over.”
“And does he know that it is over?”
“I suppose he does.”
“You suppose so! Things of that sort are so often over with you!” This was very cruel. Perhaps she had deserved the reproach, but still it was very cruel. The blow struck her with such force that she staggered under it. Tears came into her eyes, and she could hardly speak lest she should betray herself by sobbing.
“I know that I have behaved badly,” she said at last; “but I am punished, and you might spare me now!”
“I didn’t want to punish you,” he said, getting up from his chair and walking about the room. “I don’t want to punish you. But, I don’t want to see you ruined!”
“I must go to Mr Round then, myself.”
Mr Vavasor went on walking about the room, jingling the money in his trouser pockets, and pushing the chairs about as he chanced to meet them. At last, he made a compromise with her. He would take a day to think whether he would assist her in getting the money, and communicate his decision to her on the following morning.
Mr Vavasor was at his wits’ end about his daughter. She had put her name to four bills for five hundred pounds each, and had demanded from him, almost without an apology his aid in obtaining money to meet them. And she might put her name to any other number of bills, and for any amount! There was no knowing how a man ought to behave to such a daughter. “I don’t want her money,” the father said to himself; “and if she had got none of her own, I would make her as comfortable as I could with my own income. But to see her throw her money away in such a fashion as this is enough to break a man’s heart.”
Mr Vavasor went to his office in Chancery Lane, but he did not go to the chambers of Mr Round, the lawyer. Instead of calling on Mr Round he sent a note by a messenger to Suffolk Street, and the answer to the note came in the person of Mr Grey. John Grey was living in town in these days, and was in the habit of seeing Mr Vavasor frequently. Indeed, he had not left London since the memorable occasion on which he had pitched his rival down the tailor’s stairs at his lodgings. He had made himself pretty well conversant with George Vavasor’s career, and had often shuddered as he thought what might be the fate of any girl who might trust herself to marry such a man as that.
He had been at home when Mr Vavasor’s note had reached his lodgings, and had instantly walked off towards Chancery Lane. He knew his way to Mr Vavasor’s signing-office very accurately, for he had acquired a habit of calling there, and of talking to the father about his daughter. He was a patient, persevering man, confident in himself, and apt to trust that he would accomplish those things which he attempted, though he was hardly himself aware of any such aptitude. He had never despaired as to Alice. And though he had openly acknowledged to himself that she had been very foolish — or rather, that her judgment had failed her — he had never in truth been angry with her. He had looked upon her rejection of himself, and her subsequent promise to her cousin, as the effects of a mental hallucination, very much to be lamented — to be wept for, perhaps, through a whole life, as a source of terrible sorrow to himself and to her. But he regarded it all as a disease, of which the cure was yet possible — as a disease which, though it might never leave the patient as strong as she was before, might still leave her altogether. And as he would still have clung to his love had she been attacked by any of those illnesses for which doctors have well-known names, so would he cling to her now that she was attacked by a malady for which no name was known. He had already heard from Mr Vavasor that Alice had discovered how impossible it was that she should marry her cousin, and, in his quiet, patient, enduring way, was beginning to feel confident that he would, at last, carry his mistress off with him to Nethercoats.
It was certainly a melancholy place, that signing-office, in which Mr John Vavasor was doomed to spend twelve hours a week, during every term time, of his existence. Whether any man could really pass an existence of work in such a workshop, and not have gone mad — could have endured to work there for seven hours a day, every weekday of his life, I am not prepared to say. I doubt much whether any victims are so doomed. I have so often wandered through those gloomy passages without finding a sign of humanity there — without hearing any slightest tick of the hammer of labour, that I am disposed to think that Lord Chancellors have been anxious to save their subordinates from suicide, and have mercifully decreed that the whole staff of labourers, down to the very message boys of the office, should be sent away to green fields or palatial clubs during, at any rate, a moiety of their existence.
The dismal set of chambers, in which the most dismal room had been assigned to Mr Vavasor, was not actually in Chancery Lane. Opening off from Chancery Lane are various other small lanes, quiet, dingy nooks, some of them in the guise of streets going no whither, some being thoroughfares to other dingy streets beyond, in which sponging-houses abound, and others existing as the entrances to so-called Inns of Court — inns of which all knowledge has for years been lost to the outer world of the laity, and, as I believe, lost almost equally to the inner world of the legal profession. Who has ever heard of Symonds’ Inn? But an ancestral Symonds, celebrated, no doubt, in his time, did found an inn, and there it is to this day. Of Staples’ Inn, who knows the purposes or use? Who are its members, and what do they do as such? And Staples’ Inn is an inn with pretensions, having a chapel of its own, or, at any rate, a building which, in its external dimensions, is ecclesiastical, having a garden and architectural proportions; and a fa?ade towards Holborn, somewhat dingy, but respectable, with an old gateway, and with a decided character of its own.
The building in which Mr John Vavasor had a room and a desk was located in one of these side streets, and had, in its infantine days, been regarded with complacency by its founder. It was stone-faced, and strong, and though very ugly, had about it that air of importance which justifies a building in assuming a special name to itself. This building was called the Accountant-General’s Record Office, and very probably, in the gloom of its dark cellars, may lie to this day the records of the expenditure of many a fair property which has got itself into Chancery, and has never got itself out again. It was entered by a dark hall, the door of which was never closed; and which, having another door at its further end leading into another lane, had become itself a thoroughfare. But the passers through it were few in number. Now and then a boy might be seen there carrying on his head or shoulders a huge mass of papers which you would presume to be accounts, or some clerk employed in the purlieus of Chancery Lane who would know the shortest possible way from the chambers of someone attorney to those of some other. But this hall, though open at both ends, was as dark as Erebus; and any who lingered in it would soon find themselves to be growing damp, and would smell mildew, and would become naturally affected by the exhalations arising from those Chancery records beneath their feet.
Up the stone stairs, from this hall, John Grey passed to Mr Vavasor’s signing-room. The stairs were broad, and almost of noble proportions, but the darkness and gloom which hung about the hall, hung also about them — a melancholy set of stairs, up and down which no man can walk with cheerful feet. Here he came upon a long, broad passage, in which no sound was, at first, to be heard. There was no busy noise of doors slamming, no rapid sound of shoes, no passing to and fro of men intent on their daily bread. Pausing for a moment, that he might look round about him and realize the deathlike stillness of the whole, John Grey could just distinguish the heavy breathing of a man, thereby learning that there was a captive in, at any rate, one of those prisons on each side of him. Ashe drew near to the door of Mr Vavasors chamber he knew that the breathing came from thence.
On the door there were words inscribed, which were just legible in the gloom — “Signing Room. Mr Vavasor.”
How John Vavasor did hate those words! It seemed to him that they had been placed there with the express object of declaring his degradation aloud to the world. Since his father’s will had been read to him he had almost made up his mind to go down those melancholy stairs for the last time, to shake the dust off his feet as he left the Accountant-General’s Record Office for ever, and content himself with half his official income. But how could he give up so many hundreds a year while his daughter was persisting in throwing away thousands as fast as, or faster than, she could lay her hands on them?
John Grey entered the room and found Mr Vavasor sitting all alone in an armchair over the fire. I rather think that that breathing had been the breathing of a man asleep. He was resting himself amidst the labours of his signing. It was a large, dull room, which could not have been painted, I should think, within the memory of man, looking out backwards into some court. The black wall of another building seemed to stand up close to the window — so close that no direct ray of the sun ever interrupted the signing-clerk at his work. In the middle of the room there was a large mahogany-table, on which lay a pile of huge papers. Across the top of them there was placed a bit of blotting-paper, with a quill pen, the two only tools which were necessary to the performance of the signing-clerk’s work. On the table there stood a row of official books, placed lengthways on their edges; the “Post Office Directory,” the “Court Circular,” a “Directory to the Inns of Court,” a dusty volume of Acts of Parliament, which had reference to Chancery accounts — a volume which Mr Vavasor never opened; and there were some others; but there was no book there in which any Christian man or woman could take delight, either for amusement or for recreation. There were three or four chairs round the wall, and there was the one armchair which the occupant of the chamber had dragged away from its sacred place to the hearth-rug. There was also an old Turkey carpet on the floor. Other furniture there was none. Can it be a matter of surprise to any one that Mr Vavasor preferred his club to his place of business? He was not left quite alone in this deathlike dungeon. Attached to his own large room there was a small closet, in which sat the signing-clerk’s clerk — a lad of perhaps seventeen years of age, who spent the greatest part of his time in playing tit-tat-to by himself upon official blotting-paper. Had I been Mr Vavasor I should have sworn a bosom friendship with that lad, have told him all my secrets, and joined his youthful games.
“Come in!” Mr Vavasor had cried when John Grey disturbed his slumber by knocking at the door. “I’m glad to see you — very. Sit down; won’t you? Did you ever see such a wretched fire? The coals they give you in this place are the worst in all London. Did you ever see such coals?” And he gave a wicked poke at the fire.
It was now the 1st of May, and Grey, who had walked from Suffolk Street, was quite warm. “One hardly wants a fire at all, such weather as this,” he said.
“Oh; don’t you?” said the signing-clerk. “If you had to sit here all day, you’d see if you didn’t want a fire. It’s the coldest building I ever put my foot in. Sometimes in winter I have to sit here the whole day in a greatcoat. I only wish I could shut old Sugden up here for a week or two, after Christmas.” The great lawyer whom he had named was the man whom he supposed to have inflicted on him the terrible injury of his life, and he was continually invoking small misfortunes on the head of that tyrant.
“How is Alice?” said Grey, desiring to turn the subject from the ten-times-told tale of his friend’s wrongs.
Mr Vavasor sighed. “She is well enough, I believe,” he said.
“Is anything the matter in Queen Anne Street?”
“You’ll hardly believe it when I tell you; and, indeed, I hardly know whether I ought to tell you or not.”
“As you and I have gone so far together, I think that you ought to tell me anything that concerns her nearly.”
“That’s just it. It’s about her money. Do you know, Grey, I’m beginning to think that I’ve been wrong in allowing you to advance what you have done on her account?”
“Why wrong?”
“Because I foresee there’ll be a difficulty about it. How are we to manage about the repayment?”
“If she becomes my wife there will be no management wanted.”
“But how if she never becomes your wife? I’m beginning to think she’ll never do anything like any other woman.”
“I’m not quite sure that you understand her,” said Grey; “though of course you ought to do so better than any one else.”
“Nobody can understand her,” said the angry father. “She told me the other day, as you know, that she was going to have nothing more to do with her cousin — ”
“Has she — has she become friends with him again?” said Grey. As he asked the question there came a red spot on each cheek, showing the strong mental anxiety which had prompted it.
“No; I believe not — that is, certainly not in the way you mean. I think that she is beginning to know that he is a rascal.”
“It is a great blessing that she has learned the truth before it was too late.”
“But would you believe it — she has given him her name to bills for two thousand pounds, payable at two weeks’ sight? He sent to her only this morning a fellow that he called his clerk, and she has been fool enough to accept them. Two thousand pounds! That comes of leaving money at a young woman’s own disposal.”
“But we expected that, you know,” said Grey, who seemed to take the news with much composure.
“Expected it?”
“Of course we did. You yourself did not suppose that what he had before would have been the last.”
“But after she had quarrelled with him!”
“That would make no difference with her. She had promised him her money, and as it seems that he will be content with that, let her keep her promise.”
“And give him everything! Not if I can help it. I’ll expose him. I will indeed. Such a pitiful rascal as he is!”
“You will do nothing, Mr Vavasor, that will injure your daughter. I’m very sure of that.”
“But, by heavens —. Such sheer robbery as that! Two thousand pounds more in fourteen days!” The shortness of the date at which the bills were drawn seemed to affect Mr Vavasor almost as keenly as the amount. Then he described the whole transaction as accurately as he could do so, and also told how Alice had declared her purpose of going to Mr Round the lawyer, if her father would not undertake to procure the money for her by the time the bills should become due. “Mr Round, you know, has heard nothing about it,” he continued. “He doesn’t dream of any such thing. If she would take my advice, she would leave the bills, and let them be dishonoured. As it is, I think I shall call at Drummonds’, and explain the whole transaction.”
“You must not do that,” said Grey. “I will call at Drummonds’, instead, and see that the money is all right for the bills. As far as they go, let him have his plunder.”
“And if she won’t take you, at last, Grey? Upon my word, I don’t think she ever will. My belief is she’ll never get married. She’ll never do anything like any other woman.”
“The money won’t be missed by me if I never get married,” said Grey, with a smile. “If she does marry me, of course I shall make her pay me.”
“No, by George! That won’t do,” said Vavasor. “If she were your daughter you’d know that she could not take a man’s money in that way.”
“And I know it now, though she is not my daughter. I was only joking. As soon as I am certain — finally certain — that she can never become my wife, I will take back my money. You need not be afraid. The nature of the arrangement we have made shall then be explained to her.”
In this way it was settled; and on the following morning the father informed the daughter that he had done her bidding, and that the money would be placed to her credit at the bankers’ before the bills came due. On that Saturday, the day which her cousin had named in his letter, she trudged down to Drummonds’, and was informed by a very courteous senior clerk in that establishment that due preparation for the bills had been made.
So far, I think we may say that Mr George Vavasor was not unfortunate.
One morning, early in May, a full week before Alice’s visit to the bankers’ at Charing Cross, a servant in grand livery, six feet high, got out of a cab at the door in Queen Anne Street, and sent up a note for Miss Vavasor, declaring that he would wait in the cab for her answer. He had come from Lady Glencora, and had been specially ordered to go in a cab and come back in a cab, and make himself as like a Mercury, with wings to his feet, as may be possible to a London footman. Mr Palliser had arranged his plans with his wife that morning — or, I should more correctly say, had given her his orders, and she, in consequence, had sent away her Mercury in hot pressing haste to Queen Anne Street. “Do come — instantly if you can,” the note said. “I have so much to tell you, and so much to ask of you. If you can’t come, when shall I find you, and where?” Alice sent back a note, saying that she would be in Park Lane as soon as she could put on her bonnet and walk down; and then the Mercury went home in his cab.
Alice found her friend in the small breakfast-room upstairs, sitting close by the window. They had not as yet met since the evening of Lady Monk’s party, nor had Lady Glencora seen Alice in the mourning which she now wore for her grandfather. “Oh dear, what a change it makes in you,” she said. “I never thought of your being in black.”
“I don’t know what it is you want, but shan’t I do in mourning as well as I would in colours?”
“You’ll do in anything, dear. But I have so much to tell you, and I don’t know how to begin. And I’ve so much to ask of you, and I’m so afraid you won’t do it.”
“You generally find me very complaisant.”
“No, I don’t, dear. It is very seldom you will do anything for me. But I must tell you everything first. Do take your bonnet off, for I shall be hours in doing it.”
“Hours in telling me!”
“Yes; and in getting your consent to what I want you to do. But I think I’ll tell you that first. I’m to be taken abroad immediately.”
“Who is to take you?”
“Ah, you may well ask that. If you could know what questions I have asked myself on that head! I sometimes say things to myself as though they were the most proper and reasonable things in the world, and then within an hour or two I hate myself for having thought of them.”
“But why don’t you answer me? Who is going abroad with you?”
“Well; you are to be one of the party.”
“I!”
“Yes; you. When I have named so very respectable a chaperon for my youth, of course you will understand that my husband is to take us.”
“But Mr Palliser can’t leave London at this time of the year?”
“That’s just it. He is to leave London at this time of the year. Don’t look in that way, for it’s all settled. Whether you go with me or not, I’ve got to go. Today is Tuesday. We are to be off next Tuesday night, if you can make yourself ready. We shall breakfast in Paris on Wednesday morning, and then it will be to us all just as if we were in a new world. Mr Palliser will walk up and down the new court of the Louvre, and you will be on his left arm, and I shall be on his right — just like English people — and it will be the most proper thing that ever was seen in life. Then we shall go on to Basle” — Alice shuddered as Basle was mentioned, thinking of the balcony over the river — “and so to Lucerne —. But no; that was the first plan, and Mr Palliser altered it. He spent a whole day up here with maps and Bradshaws and Murray’s guidebooks, and he scolded me so because I didn’t care whether we went first to Baden or to some other place. How could I care? told me I was heartless — and I acknowledged that I was heartless. ‘I am heart-less,’ I said. ‘Tell me something I don’t know.’”
“Oh, Cora, why did you say that?”
“I didn’t choose to contradict my husband. Besides, it’s true. Then he threw the Bradshaw away, and all the maps flew about. So I picked them up again, and said we’d go to Switzerland first. I knew that would settle it, and of course he decided on stopping at Baden. If he had said Jericho, it would have been the same thing to me. Wouldn’t you like to go to Jericho?”
“I should have no special objection to Jericho.”
“But you are to go to Baden instead.”
“I’ve said nothing about that yet. But you have not told me half your story. Why is Mr Palliser going abroad in the middle of Parliament in this way?”
“Ah; now I must go back to the beginning. And indeed, Alice, I hardly know how to tell you; not that I mind you knowing it, only there are some things that won’t get themselves told. You can hardly guess what it is that he is giving up. You must swear that you won’t repeat what I’m going to tell you now?”
“I’m not a person apt to tell secrets, but I shan’t swear anything.”
“What a woman you are for discretion! It is you that ought to be Chancellor of the Exchequer; you are so wise. Only you haven’t brought your own pigs to the best market, after all.”
“Never mind my own pigs now, Cora.”
“I do mind them, very much. But the secret is this. They have asked Mr Palliser to be Chancellor of the Exchequer, and he has — refused. Think of that!”
“But why?”
“Because of me — of me, and my folly, and wickedness, and abominations. Because he has been fool enough to plague himself with a wife — he who of all men ought to have kept himself free from such troubles. Oh, he has been so good! It is almost impossible to make any one understand it. If you could know how he has longed for this office — how he has worked for it day and night, wearing his eyes out with figures when everybody else has been asleep, shutting himself up with such creatures as Mr Bott when other men have been shooting and hunting and flirting and spending their money. He has been a slave to it for years — all his life I believe — in order that he might sit in the Cabinet, and be a minister and a Chancellor of the Exchequer. He has hoped and feared, and has been, I believe, sometimes half-mad with expectation. This has been his excitement — what racing and gambling are to other men. At last, the place was there ready for him, and they offered it to him. They begged him to take it, almost on their knees. The Duke of St Bungay was here all one morning about it; but Mr Palliser sent him away, and refused the place. It’s all over now, and the other man, whom they all hate so much, is to remain in.”
“But why did he refuse it?”
“I keep on telling you — because of me. He found that I wanted looking after, and that Mrs Marsham and Mr Bott between them couldn’t do it.”
“Oh, Cora! how can you talk in that way?”
“If you knew all, you might well ask how I could. You remember about Lady Monk’s ball, that you would not go to — as you ought to have done. If you had gone, Mr Palliser would have been Chancellor of the Exchequer at this minute; he would, indeed. Only think of that! But though you did not go, other people did who ought to have remained at home. I went for one — and you know who was there for another.”
“What difference could that make to you?” said Alice, angrily.
“It might have made a great deal of difference. And, for the matter of that, so it did. Mr Palliser was there too, but, of course, he went away immediately. I can’t tell you all the trouble there had been about Mrs Marsham — whether I was to take her with me or not. However, I wouldn’t take her, and didn’t take her. The carriage went for her first, and there she was when we got there; and Mr Bott was there too. I wonder whether I shall ever make you understand it all.”
“There are some things I don’t want to understand.”
“There they both were, watching me — looking at me the whole evening; and, of course, I resolved that I would not be put down by them.”
“I think, if I had been you, I would not have allowed their presence to make any difference to me.”
“That is very easily said, my dear, but by no means so easily done. You can’t make yourself unconscious of eyes that are always looking at you. I dared them, at any rate, to do their worst, for I stood up to dance with Burgo Fitzgerald.”
“Oh, Cora!”
“Why shouldn’t I? At any rate I did; and I waltzed with him for half an hour. Alice, I never will waltz again — never. I have done with dancing now. I don’t think, even in my maddest days, I ever kept it up so long as I did then. And I knew that everybody was looking at me. It was not only Mrs Marsham and Mr Bott, but everybody there. I felt myself to be desperate — mad, like a wild woman. There I was, going round and round and round with the only man for whom I ever cared two straws. It seemed as though everything had been a dream since the old days. Ah! how well I remember the first time I danced with him — at his aunt’s house in Cavendish Square. They had only just brought me out in London then, and I thought that he was a god.”
“Cora! I cannot bear to hear you talk like that.”
“I know well enough that he is no god now; some people say that he is a devil, but he was like Apollo to me then. Did you ever see any one so beautiful as he is?”
“I never saw him at all.”
“I wish you could have seen him; but you will some day. I don’t know whether you care for men being handsome.” Alice thought of John Grey, who was the handsomest man that she knew, but she made no answer. “I do; or, rather, I used to do,” continued Lady Glencora. “I don’t think I care much about anything now; but I don’t see why handsome men should not be run after as much as handsome women.”
“But you wouldn’t have a girl run after any man, would you; whether handsome or ugly?”
“But they do, you know, When I saw him the other night he was just as handsome as ever — the same look, half wild and half tame, like an animal you cannot catch, but which you think would love you so if you could catch him. In a little while it was just like the old time, and I had made up my mind to care nothing for the people looking at me.”
“And you think that was right?”
“No, I don’t. Yes, I do; that is, it wasn’t right to care about dancing with him, but it was right to disregard all the people gaping round. What was it to them? Why should they care who I danced with?”
“That is nonsense, dear, and you must know that it is so. If you were to see a woman misbehaving herself in public, would not you look on and make your comments? Could you help doing so if you were to try?”
“You are very severe, Alice. Misbehaving in public!”
“Yes, Cora. I am only taking your own story. According to that, you were misbehaving in public.”
Lady Glencora got up from her chair near the window, on which she had been crouching close to Alice’s knees, and walked away towards the fireplace. “What am I to say to you, or how am I to talk to you?” said Alice. “You would not have me tell you a lie?”
“Of all things in the world, I hate a prude the most,” said Lady Glencora.
“Cora, look here. If you consider it prudery on my part to disapprove of your waltzing with Mr Fitzgerald in the manner you have described — or, indeed, in any other manner — you and I must differ so totally about the meaning of words and the nature of things that we had better part.”
“Alice, you are the unkindest creature that ever lived. You are as cold as stone. I sometimes think that you can have no heart.”
“I don’t mind your saying that. Whether I have a heart or not I will leave you to find out for yourself; but I won’t be called a prude by you. You know you were wrong to dance with that man. What has come of it? What have you told me yourself this morning? In order to preserve you from misery and destruction, Mr Palliser has given up all his dearest hopes. He has had to sacrifice himself that he might save you. That, I take it, is about the truth of it — and yet you tell me that you have done no wrong.”
“I never said so.” Now she had come back to her chair by the window, and was again sitting in that crouching form. “I never said that I was not wrong. Of course I was wrong. I have been so wrong throughout that I have never been right yet. Let me tell it on to the end, and then you can go away if you like, and tell me that I am too wicked for your friendship.”
“Have I ever said anything like that, Cora?”
“But you will, I dare say, when I have done. Well; what do you think my senior duenna did — the female one, I mean? She took my own carriage, and posted off after Mr Palliser as hard as ever she could, leaving the male duenna on the watch. I was dancing as hard as I could, but I knew what was going on all the time as well as though I had heard them talking. Of course Mr Palliser came after me. I don’t know what else he could do, unless, indeed, he had left me to my fate. He came there, and behaved so well — so much like a perfect gentleman. Of course I went home, and I was prepared to tell him everything, if he spoke a word to me — that I intended to leave him, and that cart-ropes should not hold me!”
“To leave him, Cora!”
“Yes, and go with that other man whose name you won’t let me mention. I had a letter from him in my pocket asking me to go. He asked me a dozen times that night. I cannot think how it was that I did not consent.”
“That you did not consent to your own ruin and disgrace?”
“That I did not consent to go off with him — anywhere. Of course it would have been my own destruction. I’m not such a fool as not to know that. Do you suppose I have never thought of it — what it would be to be a man’s mistress instead of his wife? If I had not I should be a thing to be hated and despised, When once I had done it I should hate and despise myself. I should feel myself to be loathsome, and, as it were, a beast among women. But why did they not let me marry him, instead of driving me to this? And though I might have destroyed myself, I should have saved the man who is still my husband. Do you know, I told him all that — told him that if I had gone away with Burgo Fitzgerald he would have another wife, and would have children, and would —?”
“You told your husband that you had thought of leaving him?”
“Yes; I told him everything. I told him that I dearly loved that poor fellow, for whom, as I believe, nobody else on earth cares a single straw.”
“And what did he say?”
“I cannot tell you what he said, only that we are all to go to Baden together, and then to Italy. But he did not seem a bit angry; he very seldom is angry, unless at some trumpery thing, as when he threw the book away. And when I told him that he might have another wife and a child, he put his arm round me and whispered to me that he did not care so much about it as I had imagined. I felt more like loving him at that moment than I had ever done before.”
“He must be fit to be an angel.”
“He’s fit to be a cabinet minister, which, I’m quite sure, he’d like much better. And now you know everything; but no — there is one thing you don’t know yet. When I tell you that, you’ll want to make him an archangel or a prime minister.”
“‘We’ll go abroad,’ he said — and remember, this was his own proposition, made long before I was able to speak a word; ‘We’ll go abroad, and you shall get your cousin Alice to go with us.’ That touched me more than anything. Only think if he had proposed Mrs Marsham!”
“But yet he does not like me.”
“You’re wrong there, Alice. There has been no question of liking or of disliking. He thought you would be a kind of Mrs Marsham, and when you were not, but went out flirting among the ruins with Jeffrey Palliser, instead — ”
“I never went out flirting with Jeffrey Palliser.”
“He did with you, which is all the same thing. And when Plantagenet knew of that — for, of course, Mr Bott told him — ”
“Mr Bott can’t see everything.”
“Those men do. The worst is, they see more than everything. But, at any rate, Mr Palliser has got over all that now. Come, Alice; the fact of the offer having come from himself should disarm you of any such objection as that. As he has held out his hand to you, you have no alternative but to take it.”
“I will take his hand willingly.”
“And for my sake you will go with us? He understands himself that I am not fit to be his companion, and to have no companion but him. Now there is a spirit of wisdom about you that will do for him, and a spirit of folly that will suit me. I can manage to put myself on a par with a girl who has played such a wild game with her lovers as you have done.”
Alice would give no promise then. Her first objection was that she had undertaken to go down to Westmoreland and comfort Kate in the affliction of her broken arm. “And I must go,” said Alice, remembering how necessary it was that she should plead her own cause with George Vavasor’s sister. But she acknowledged that she had not intended to stay long in Westmoreland, probably nor more than a week, and it was at last decided that the Pallisers should postpone their journey for four or five days, and that Alice should go with them immediately upon her return from Vavasor Hall.
“I have no objection,” said her father, speaking with that voice of resignation which men use when they are resolved to consider themselves injured whatever may be done. “I can get along in lodgings. I suppose we had better leave the house, as you have given away so much of your own fortune?” Alice did not think it worth her while to point out to him, in answer to this, that her contribution to their joint housekeeping should still remain the same as ever. Such, however, she knew would be the fact, and she knew also that she would find her father in the old house when she returned from her travels. To her, in her own great troubles, the absence from London would be as serviceable as it could be to Lady Glencora. Indeed, she had already begun to feel the impossibility of staying quietly at home. She could lecture her cousin, whose faults were open, easy to be defined, and almost loud in their nature; but she was not on that account the less aware of her own. She knew that she too had cause to be ashamed of herself. She was half afraid to show her face among her friends, and wept grievously over her own follies. Those cruel words of her father rang in her ears constantly — “Things of that sort are so often over with you.” The reproach, though cruel, was true, and what reproach more galling could be uttered to an unmarried girl such as was Alice Vavasor? She had felt from the first moment in which the proposition was made to her, that it would be well that she should for a while leave her home, and especially that drawing-room in Queen Anne Street, which told her so many tales that she would fain forget, if it were possible.
Mr Palliser would not allow his wife to remain in London for the ten or twelve days which must yet elapse before they started, nor would he send her into the country alone. He took her down to Matching Park, having obtained leave to be absent from the House for the remainder of the Session, and remained with her there till within two days of their departure. That week down at Matching, as she afterwards told Alice, was very terrible. He never spoke a word to rebuke her. He never hinted that there had been aught in her conduct of which he had cause to complain. He treated her with a respect that was perfect, and indeed with more outward signs of affection than had ever been customary with him. “But,” as Lady Glencora afterwards expressed it, “he was always looking after me. I believe he thought that Burgo Fitzgerald had hidden himself among the ruins,” she said once to Alice, “He never suspected me, I am sure of that; but he thought that he ought to look after me.” And Lady Glencora in this had very nearly hit the truth. Mr Palliser had resolved, from that hour in which he had walked out among the elms in Kensington Gardens, that he would neither suspect his wife, nor treat her as though he suspected her. The blame had been his, perhaps, more than it had been hers. So much he had acknowledged to himself, thinking of the confession she had made to him before their marriage. But it was manifestly his imperative duty — his duty of duties — to save her from that pitfall into which, as she herself had told him, she had been so ready to fall. For her sake and for his this must be done. It was a duty so imperative, that in its performance he had found himself forced to abandon his ambition. To have his wife taken from him would be terrible, but the having it said all over the world that such a misfortune had come upon him would be almost more terrible even than that.
So he went with his wife hither and thither, down at Matching, allowing himself to be driven about behind Dandy and Flirt. He himself proposed these little excursions. They were tedious to him, but doubly tedious to his wife, who now found it more difficult than ever to talk to him. She snuggled to talk, and he struggled to talk, but the very struggles themselves made the thing impossible. He sat with her in the mornings, and he sat with her in the evenings; he breakfasted with her, lunched with her, and dined with her. He went to bed early, having no figures which now claimed his attention. And so the week at last wore itself away. “I saw him yawning sometimes,” Lady Glencora said afterwards, “as though he would fall in pieces.”
Alice was resolved that she would keep her promise to Kate, and pay her visit to Westmoreland before she started with the Pallisers. Kate had written to her three lines with her left hand, begging her to come, and those three lines had been more eloquent than anything she could have written had her right arm been uninjured. Alice had learned something of the truth as to that accident from her father; or, rather, had heard her father’s surmises on the subject. She had heard, too, low her cousin George had borne himself when the will was read, and how he had afterwards disappeared, never showing himself again at the Hall. After all that had passed she felt that she owed Kate some sympathy. Sympathy may, no doubt, be conveyed by letter; but there are things on which it is almost impossible for any writer to express himself with adequate feeling; and there are things, too, which can be spoken, but which cannot be written. Therefore, though the journey must be a hurried one, Alice sent word down to Westmoreland that she was to be expected there in a day or two. On her return she was to go at once to Park Lane, and sleep there for the two nights which would intervene before the departure of the Pallisers.
On the day before she started for Westmoreland her father came to her in the middle of the day, and told her that John Grey was going to dine with him in Queen Anne Street on that evening.
“Today, papa?” she asked.
“Yes, today. Why not? No man is less particular as to what he eats than Grey.”
“I was not thinking of that, papa,” she said.
To this Mr Vavasor made no reply, but stood for some minutes looking out of the window. Then he prepared to leave the room, getting himself first as far as the table, where he lifted a book, and then on half-way to the door, before Alice arrested him.
“Perhaps, papa, you and Mr Grey had better dine alone.”
“What do you mean by alone?”
“I meant without me — as two men generally like to do.”
“If I wanted that I should have asked him to dine at the club,” said Mr Vavasor, and then he again attempted to go.
“But, papa — ”
“Well, my dear! If you mean to say that because of what has passed you object to meet Mr Grey, I can only tell you it’s nonsense — confounded nonsense. If he chooses to come there can be no reason why you shouldn’t receive him.”
“It will look as though — ”
“Look what?”
“As though he were asked as my guest.”
“That’s nonsense. I saw him yesterday, and I asked him to come. I saw him again today, and he said he would come. He’s not such a fool as to suppose after that, that you asked him.”
“No; not that I asked him.”
“And if you run away you’ll only make more of the thing than it’s worth. Of course I can’t make you dine with me if you don’t like.”
Alice did not like it, but, after some consideration, she thought that she might be open to the imputation of having made more of the thing than it was worth if she ran away, as her father called it. She was going to leave the country for some six or eight months — perhaps for a longer time than that, and it might be as well that she should have an opportunity of telling her plans to Mr Grey. She could do it, she thought, in such a way as to make him understand that her last quarrel with George Vavasor was not supposed to alter the footing on which she stood with him. She did not doubt that her father had told everything to Mr Grey. She knew well enough what her father’s wishes still were. It was not odd that he should be asking John Grey to his house, though such exercises of domestic hospitality were very unusual with him. But — so she declared to herself — such little attempts on his part would be altogether thrown away. It was a pity that he had not yet learned to know her better. She would receive Mr Grey as the mistress of her father’s house now, for the last time; and then, on her return in the following year, he would be at Nethercoats, and the whole thing would be over.
She dressed herself very plainly, simply changing one black frock for another, and then sat herself in her drawing-room awaiting the two gentlemen. It was already past the hour of dinner before her father came upstairs. She knew that he was in the house, and in her heart she accused him of keeping out of the way, in order that John Grey might be alone with her. Whether or no she were right in her suspicions John Grey did not take advantage of the opportunity offered to him. Her father came up first, and had seated himself silently in his armchair before the visitor was announced.
As Mr Grey entered the room Alice knew that she was flurried, but still she managed to carry herself with some dignity. His bearing was perfect. But then, as she declared to herself afterwards, no possible position in life would put him beside himself. He came up to her with his usual quiet smile — a smile that was genial even in its quietness, and took her hand. He took it fairly and fully into his; but there was no squeezing, no special pressure, no love-making. And when he spoke to her he called her Alice, as though his doing so was of all things the most simply a matter of course. There was no tell-tale hesitation in his voice. When did he ever hesitate at anything? “I hear you are going abroad,” he said, “with your cousin, Lady Glencora Palliser.”
“Yes,” said Alice; “I am going with them for a long tour. We shall not return, I fancy, till the end of next winter.”
“Plans of that sort are as easily broken as they are made,” said her father. “You won’t be your own mistress; and I advise you not to count too surely upon getting further than Baden.”
“If Mr Palliser changes his mind of course I shall come home,” said Alice, with a little attempt at a smile.
“I should think him a man not prone to changes,” said Grey.
“But all London is talking about his change of mind at this moment. They say at the clubs that he might have been in the Cabinet if he would, but that he has taken up this idea of going abroad at the moment when he was wanted.”
“It’s his wife’s doing, I take it,” said Mr Vavasor,
“That’s the worst of being in Parliament,” said Grey. “A man can’t do anything without giving a reason for it. There must be men for public life, of course; but, upon my word, I think we ought to he very much obliged to them.”
Alice, as she took her old lover’s arm, and walked down with him to dinner, thought of all her former quarrels with him on this very subject. On this very point she had left him. He had never argued the matter with her. He had never asked her to argue with him. He had not condescended so far as that. Had he done so, she thought that she would have brought herself to think as he thought. She would have striven, at any rate, to do so. But she could not become unambitious, tranquil, fond of retirement, and philosophic, without an argument on the matter — without being allowed even the poor grace of owning herself to be convinced. If a man takes a dog with him from the country up to town, the dog must live a town life without knowing the reason why — must live a town life or die a town death. But a woman should not be treated like a dog. “Had he deigned to discuss it with me!” Alice had so often said. “But, no; he will read his books, and I am to go there to fetch him his slippers, and make his tea for him.” All this came upon her again as she walked downstairs by his side; and with it there came a consciousness that she had been driven by this usage into the terrible engagement which she had made with her cousin. That, no doubt, was now over. There was no longer to her any question of her marrying George Vavasor. But the fact that she had been mad enough to think and talk of such a marriage, had of itself been enough to ruin her. “Things of that sort are so often over with you!” After such a speech as that to her from her father, Alice told herself that there could be no more “things of that sort” for her. But all her misery had been brought about by this scornful superiority to the ordinary pursuits of the world — this looking down upon humanity. “It seems to me”, she said, very quietly, while her hand was yet upon his arm, “that your pity is hardly needed. I should think that no persons can be happier than those whom you call our public men.”
“Ah!” said he, that is our old quarrel. He said it as though the quarrel had simply been an argument between them, or a dozen arguments — as arguments do come up between friends; not as though it had served to separate for life two persons who had loved each other dearly. “It’s the old story of the town mouse and the country mouse — as old as the hills. Mice may be civil for a while, and compliment each other; but when they come to speak their minds freely, each likes his own life best.” She said nothing more at the moment, and the three sat down to their small dinner-table. It was astonishing to Alice that he should be able to talk in this way, to hint at such things, to allude to their former hopes and present condition, without a quiver in his voice, or, as far as she could perceive, without any feeling in his heart.
“Alice,” said her father, “I can’t compliment your cook upon her soup.”
“You don’t encourage her, papa, by eating it often enough. And then you only told me at two o’clock today.”
“If a cook can’t make soup between two and seven, she can’t make it in a week.”
“I hope Mr Grey will excuse it,” said Alice.
“Isn’t it good?” said he. “I won’t say that it is, because I should be pretending to have an opinion; but I should not have found out anything against it of myself.”
“Where do you dine usually, now you are in London?” Mr Vavasor asked.
“At the old club, at the corner of Suffolk Street. It’s the oldest club in London, I believe. I never belonged to any other, and therefore can’t compare them; but I can’t imagine anything much nicer.”
“They give you better soup than ours?” said Alice.
“You’ve an excellent cook,” said Mr Vavasor, with great gravity; “one of the best second-class cooks in London. We were very nearly getting him, but you nicked him just in time. I know him well.”
“It’s a great deal more than I do, or hope to do. There’s another branch of public life for which I’m quite unfitted. I’d as soon be called on to choose a Prime Minister for the country, as I would a cook for a club.”
“Of course you would,” said Mr Vavasor. “There may be as many as a dozen cooks about London to be looked up, but there are never more than two possible Prime Ministers about. And as one of them must be going out when the other is coming in, I don’t see that there can be any difficulty. Moreover, nowadays, people do their politics for themselves, but they expect to have their dinners cooked for them.”
The little dinner went on quietly and very easily. Mr Vavasor found fault with nearly everything. But as, on this occasion, the meat and the drink, with the manner of the eating and drinking, did not constitute the difficulty, Alice was indifferent to her father’s censures. The thing needed was that she and Mr Grey should be able to sit together at the same table without apparent consciousness of their former ties. Alice felt that she was succeeding indifferently well while she was putting in little mock defences for the cook. And as for John Grey, he succeeded so well that his success almost made Alice angry with him. It required no effort with him at all to be successful in this matter. “If he can forget all that has passed, so much the better,” said Alice to herself when she got up into the drawing-room. Then she sat herself down on the sofa, and cried. Oh! what had she not lost! Had any woman ever been so mad, so reckless, so heartless as she had been! And she had done it, knowing that she loved him! She cried bitterly, and then went away to wash her eyes, that she might be ready to give him his coffee when he should come upstairs.
“She does not look well,” said Grey as soon as she had left the room.
“Well — no: how can she look well after what she has gone through? I sometimes think, that of all the people I ever knew, she has been the most foolish. But, of course, it is not for me to say anything against my own child; and, of all people, not to you.”
“Nothing that you could say against her would make any difference to me. I sometimes fancy that I know her better than you do.”
“And you think that she’ll still come round again?”
“I cannot say that I think so. No one can venture to say whether or not such wounds as hers may be cured. There are hearts and bodies so organised, that in them severe wounds are incurable, whereas in others no injury seems to be fatal. But I can say that if she be not cured it shall not be from want of perseverance on my part.”
“Upon my word, Grey, I don’t know how to thank you enough. I don’t, indeed.”
“It doesn’t seem to me to be a case for thanking.”
“Of course it isn’t. I know that well enough. And in the ordinary way of the world no father would think of thanking a man for wanting to marry his daughter. But things have come to such a pass with us, that, by George! I don’t feel like any other father. I don’t mind saying anything to you, you know. That claret isn’t very good, but you might as well take another glass.”
“Thank you, I will. I should have said that that was rather good wine now.”
“It’s not just the thing. What’s the use of my having good wine here, when nobody comes to drink it? But, as I was saying about Alice, of course I’ve felt all this thing very much. I feel as though I were responsible, and yet what could I do? She’s her own mistress through it all. When she told me she was going to marry that horrible miscreant, my nephew, what could I do?”
“That’s over now, and we need not talk about it.”
“It’s very kind of you to say so — very. I believe she’s a good girl. I do, indeed, in spite of it all.”
“I’ve no doubt of her being what you call a good girl — none in the least. What she has done to me does not impair her goodness. I don’t think you have ever understood how much all this has been a matter of conscience with her.”
“Conscience!” said the angry father. “I hate such conscience. I like the conscience that makes a girl keep her word, and not bring disgrace upon those she belongs to.”
“I shall not think that I am disgraced,” said Grey, quietly, “if she will come and be my wife. She has meant to do right, and has endeavoured to take care of the happiness of other people rather than her own.”
“She has taken very little care of mine,” said Mr Vavasor.
“I shall not be at all afraid to trust mine to her — if she will let me do so. But she has been wounded sorely, and it must take time.”
“And, in the meantime, what are we to do when she tells us that Mr George Vavasor wants another remittance? Two thousand pounds a quarter comes heavy, you know!”
“Let us hope that he has had enough.”
“Enough! Did such a man ever have enough?”
“Let us hope, then, that she thinks he has had enough. Come — may I go upstairs?”
“Oh, yes. I’ll follow you. She’ll think that I mean something if I leave you together.”
From all this it will be seen that Alice’s father and her lover still stood together on confidential terms. Not easily had Mr Vavasor brought himself to speak of his daughter to John Grey in such language as he had now used; but he had been forced by adverse circumstances to pass the Rubicon of parental delicacy; he had been driven to tell his wished-for son-in-law that he did wish to have him as a son-in-law; he had been compelled to lay aside those little airs of reserve with which a father generally speaks of his daughter — and now all was open between them.
“And you really start tomorrow?” said Grey, as he stood close over Alice’s work-table. Mr Vavasor had followed him into the drawing-room, but had seated himself in an easy chair on the other side of the fire. There was no tone of whispering in Grey’s voice, but yet he spoke in a manner which showed that he did not intend to be audible on the other side of the room.
“I start for Westmoreland tomorrow. We do not leave London for the continent till the latter end of next week.”
“But you will not be here again?”
“No; I shall not come back to Queen Anne Street.”
“And you will be away for many months?”
“Mr Palliser talked of next Easter as the term of his return. He mentioned Easter to Lady Glencora. I have not seen him myself since I agreed to go with him.”
“What should you say if you met me somewhere in your travels?” He had now gently seated himself on the sofa beside her — not so close to her as to give her just cause to move away, but yet so near as to make his conversation with her quite private.
“I don’t think that will be very likely,” she replied, not knowing what to say.
“I think it is very likely. For myself, I hate surprises. I could not bring myself to fall in upon your track unawares. I shall go abroad, but it will not be till the late autumn, when the summer heats are gone — and I shall endeavour to find you.”
“To find me, Mr Grey!” There was a quivering in her voice, as she spoke, which she could not prevent, though she would have given worlds to prevent it. “I do not think that will be quite fair.”
“It will not be unfair, I think, if I give you notice of my approach. I will not fall upon you and your friends unawares.”
“I was not thinking of them. They would be glad to know you, of course.”
“And equally, of course! — Or, rather, much more of course, you will not be glad to see me? That’s what you mean?”
“I mean that we had better not meet more than we can help.”
“I think differently, Alice — quite differently. The more we meet the better — that is what I think. But I will not stop to trouble you now. Goodnight!” Then he got up and went away, and her father went with him. Mr Vavasor, as he rose from his chair, declared that he would just walk through a couple of streets; but Alice knew that he was gone to his club.